Bloodred Valentine
by Psycho gurl
Summary: It's Valentines Day and Shindo Shuichi has his Valentines concert! Yuki finally learns what Shuichi means to him but, when someone wants revenge against Yuki, Shuichi finds himself caught in the middle. *Updated chap 2, almost COMPLETELY REWROTE chap 3*
1. Counting off the seconds...

Disclaimers: Gravitation (and the characters) does not belong to me. I have no money so suing is kind of pointless. The only people I own in this are Psy, CB, Sarah, and Jamie. Anybody who wants them is more screwed up than I am.  
  
Notes: Shounen ai (no duh), meant to be sad but I'm not sure if it worked. Characters OOC (I suck at keeping them in character). My grammar sucks so be prepared to get very confused at most points.  
  
~*Bloodred Valentine*~  
  
"Please Yuki, you have to come," Shuichi tried once again, clenching his hands tightly, begging the tears not to come. He was so close, so close to loosing it again. He wanted to, but at the same time he didn't. He was trying to prove something to himself, but he was losing, badly.  
  
"I have a deadline," Yuki answered emotionlessly, knowing how well he was hiding it before the younger boy. He wanted to go, and had promised Shuichi he would, but there was no way he was going to be able to. He had promised Shuichi so many other things since then that he hadn't had time to write. He couldn't ask for another extension, he couldn't.  
  
"Yuki, it's Valentines day. I want to be with you, please." Yuki lit another cigarette and stared back at Shuichi, eyes cold. Shuichi flinched back from the annoyance in those eyes, the annoyance he knew he was to Yuki. It was almost enough to make him give up, but he wouldn't. Every time he cried Yuki gave in. He pitied him, that was all. Shuichi made him feel bad and Yuki did what he wanted. That wasn't what he wanted. He wanted Yuki to go to his concert because he loved him, not because he felt like he owed him something. Please. Let me know that I mean something to you.  
  
"You've been with me, happy?" Yuki didn't like the words at all, but it was the only way he knew how to react. He was fighting a loosing battle. He wanted to go, especially knowing how much it meant to Shuichi. He could feel his own tears rising, much like the ones that hung silently in the corner of Shuichi's eyes. He didn't want to cry in front of him again, he hadn't wanted to before. Shuichi had turned him into such an emotional wreck. He'd have never cried over something so small before. Please. Don't make me loose to you again.  
  
"It's not enough..." Shuichi stated softly, hanging his head to hide his face from Yuki. He couldn't stop them anymore. He'd lost, and he knew that Yuki would give in. Yuki always gave in, pitied him. Treated him like a child. Not that he normally minded, but he wanted to be respected just this once. Instead, he'd simply made a fool out of himself again. I feel more distant every time I cry. I don't want to loose you to my tears.  
  
"Shuichi..." Yuki ran fingers through his light-colored hair, wondering how to work things out. He hated seeing Shuichi cry. He'd never seen him cry over anything other than himself, and to know such hurt. That was why he tried not to cry in front of Shuichi, he didn't want him to feel that way. "I can't. I'm...sorry. I want to, you know…you know I hate breaking my promises to you." That's why I never make them, because breaking them hurts you.  
  
"Yuki..." He hadn't given in. Not even pity was enough this time, Yuki really didn't care. At least when Yuki pitied him he at least felt like Yuki cared a little about his feelings. Now he knew that Yuki felt nothing. Probably only gave in those times before because his crying was annoying. He was annoying. He was getting sick of admitting it but the more he was around Yuki the more his own voice started to grate on his nerves, the sicker he got of hearing himself talk. He didn't want to be the only one to talk anymore, the only one to break the silence. No matter how much he hated annoying Yuki, he couldn't stand the silence. Nothing good ever follows silence, and that's where he was now.  
  
Shuichi gasped as Yuki pulled him forward, sitting him on his lap and pressing his face to his chest gently, running fingers through his hair. He sighed and relaxed, taking comfort in Yuki's grasp. He cried softly into his shirt, clinging to him. He hated being second on Yuki's list of things to do, and that was what Yuki was telling him right then, that he would go after he was done with his first priority...his book.  
  
"Please don't cry," Yuki pleaded, holding him tightly. He wasn't entirely sure if he was really talking to Shuichi anymore. Shuichi sat up and wiped the tears from his eyes, not looking at him. Yuki sighed and tilted his face up so he couldn't help but to look at him, locking eyes with him. "I promise you I'll go to as much as I can, alright?" he pleaded, willing to do anything to stop Shuichi's tears.  
  
Shuichi nodded slowly, tears still flowing from his eyes. He leaned back against him and gave in to the thought that Yuki merely thought of him as a child. He'd called him a child before, and it hadn't left him alone ever since. Not only was he a child to Yuki, but he was also second. Second in his mind, always. He could never seem to pull Yuki away from his writing for him. Yuki had kicked him out for bugging him while he was writing before, but he'd yet to see Yuki turn off his laptop because he was upset. Even now the damn thing hummed in the background, put on hold until Yuki could calm him down.  
  
"Why am I always second to you?" Shuichi asked out loud, not sure he had done so. However, he caught himself right afterwards, pulling himself tighter against Yuki and sobbing, muttering apologies into his shirt. This, however, was not enough for the blonde writer. Shuichi had no idea what he had gone through for him, and what he meant to him, and yet he dared tell him that he was second?! Shuichi was never anything but first in his mind!  
  
"What makes you say that?!" He demanded, sitting Shuichi up to look at him. Shuichi flinched from the look in his eyes. Anger filled eyes, reflecting his own terrified ones. He couldn't stand to look at him long, turning his head to look at the floor.  
  
"I'm sorry Yuki…I just…" Yuki took his face in his hand roughly and turned his face so Shuichi had no choice but to stare at him, eye-to-eye.  
  
"Look at me when you talk, Shuichi," he demanded and Shuichi squeezed his eyes shut, praying for the tears to stop. He'd cried so many times, so very many times. He was still a child, and Yuki was right for calling him such.  
  
"You…YOU'RE ALWAYS TYPING ON YOUR DAMN STORIES! You…you never choose me first!" he screamed defiantly, opening his eyes again to stare him down. He wasn't going to back down so easily this time. He had a point and he wanted Yuki to care about him. Yuki's book was more important to him than his performance. It didn't help that he didn't have his song done for the concert yet. He'd figured he'd write it for Yuki, but Yuki didn't even want to see him perform. Not even on Valentines Day.  
  
Shuichi had to pull away from him as he stared into his eyes again. He didn't look angry anymore, which would have been considered a step up…if he didn't look so injured. He stared sown at him from where he had been standing before and Yuki got up, taking Shuichi's shoulders and turning him around to face his laptop, bringing up another document and making sure he read part of it before whispering in his ear.  
  
"Be careful what you assume, Shuichi. You could hurt someone." And with that Shuichi felt his hands leave his shoulder and heard the door slam behind him, but the familiar gust of wind didn't follow and he turned to find that it wasn't his office door he had closed.  
  
"Yuki?!" Shuichi ran out of his office and looked around, noticing that Yuki's coat was gone. He'd left…again. Whether it be to let him calm down or his final goodbye Shuichi didn't know, and personally he was afraid of the answer. So, instead he walked back to his office, sitting in his chair and reading the words on the screen through tear-blurred eyes.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yuki ignored the horns behind him, not caring what they thought. Shuichi had told him that he was second on his list, second! Shuichi had never been anything but foremost in his mind, driving on everything he did. It was only for him that he was alive. In the back of his mind he absently toyed with the idea of driving his car off the road or something, if Shuichi didn't care then that left him back where he'd been those few months ago in New York.  
  
His attention was pulled from his thoughts as someone tapped on his window, and he glared at them through the window for all he was worth. Not that it did him any good, seeing as his windows were tinted. He rolled the window down and gave the girl standing outside a vicious glare.  
  
"What do you want?" he demanded as she stood there, hand still in their air like she was confused the window had disappeared. She blinked a couple times and pointed behind her to the other cars, honking at him and a couple flipping him off.  
  
"I think they want you to move. The light's turned green and you could get in a lot of trouble if you don't move…I think." Yuki couldn't help but to stare at her as she stood there, she looked so familiar. Her teal green hair and wide eyes. He could have sworn he'd seen her before. She blinked a couple more times before leaning in the car window and smiling at him. "Why are you staring at me like that? You are Yuki Eiri, right? I'm CB. My big sister, cousin actually, reads all your books. I never got into them…" she stated happily, smiling at him. "You going to the concert tonight?" she asked and Yuki glared at her, making her stand upright outside the window again. "Geeze, you don't have to be so mean…" she stated and Yuki glared at her, driving off quickly to show her just how mean he could be when he was in a bad mood.  
  
He watched as the surprised girl sitting on the ground vanished from his sight. He didn't need her telling him he should go, he'd heard it enough from Shuichi. "Damn annoying fans of his," he muttered as he sped the car up, determined not to be awake for the concert at least. Maybe then Shuichi wouldn't blame him for not going.  
  
He swerved his car a split second before hitting the rails he'd been aiming for. "Dammit!" he swore as he still managed to ram the back of his car, messing it up pretty badly. Not that he was hurt, but the car alone had cost him quite a fortune.  
  
Getting out Yuki decided that it was at least better than dying. It was technically his fault that he wasn't going to the concert, and he certainly wasn't going to leave Shuichi without a goodbye, he wasn't that cruel. Then again, leaving at all was pretty cruel of him in itself.  
  
Mind now set on talking (and hopefully ending his argument) with Shuichi after the concert, Yuki walked off, leaving his wreaked car behind. Not that it would do him much good, about as much as the people asking him if he was alright. Wouldn't they think that if he was walking around like he was that he was okay? Some people were so stupid.  
  
He lit another cigarette and continued on his way, knowing that someone would be broadcasting Shuichi's concert. He wasn't in the mood to actually go, and he wasn't going to go home until this whole thing was over. Therefore, one of the TV displays was going to have to do. Until then, he'd have to find something to do. Maybe find a little more inspiration for his story, he'd hit a pretty difficult spot and was having one hell of a time working through it. Leave it to Shuichi to have his concerts on his worst days.  
  
He couldn't remember a time when Shuichi'd had a concert that his story was going well. Then again, he could hardly remember a day where he hadn't struggled through his stories after he'd met Shuichi. The boy held to his attention like crazy, and even when he thought he'd let go he hadn't, leaving Yuki to try and ignore the him in his mind. That Shuichi, of course, was harder to drive away than the real thing, and the real thing was pretty damn persistent by himself.  
  
Pulling sunglasses out of his pocket and placing them on his face, Yuki set out, determined to buy Shuichi something while looking for a display. If that didn't make him happy he wasn't sure what would. Then again, an idiot's mind is a hard one to figure out. And when one is dating an idiot boy who tends to dress himself like a girl and dyes his hair pink, what exactly are you expected to get him? Half of the things Yuki would normally buy were either too girlish or too confusing for the poor singer. Jewelry was the closest medium between the two and even then it sounded more feminine than Yuki wanted it to.  
  
After staring at the same necklace for near a half-hour Yuki finally gave in and decided on it. Putting his cigarette out he walked into the store. If Shuichi was unhappy with it that was his problem, he was the one who acted like one of his obsessive fans (which were all women) when he was around. Besides, Yuki was almost positive that Shuichi wouldn't be unhappy with anything he got him. Especially after remembering what the boy had done after promising him a date. It didn't take much for him to make Shuichi smile, which was one of the things he liked best about Shuichi. Shuichi liked him no matter what he did, and he'd proved that a hundred times over when he'd followed him to New York.  
  
Shuichi'd never know how much that had meant to him. And it wasn't because Yuki hadn't told him (which he hadn't) but he simply couldn't manage to express it in any way other than staying with him. Which is why every day continued to revolve around him like it did.  
  
"Sir? Are you alright? You've been standing there for the last ten minutes. Can I help you?" Yuki turned to the girl who had appeared next to him, it seemed. Then again, he hadn't really been paying attention. Chances were she'd been standing there the whole ten minutes, too.  
  
"Actually, I wanted to buy something." The young girl was no longer paying attention to his words, staring up at him in pure adoration. Yuki couldn't help but to roll his eyes at her, they were all so damn petty. He had to wonder if he would have sold half as many books if his fans didn't find him attractive. A small part of him told him no, but that wasn't what he'd come here for.  
  
"Really? For your girlfriend perhaps?" she asked. Geeze, was she weird. Asking if he was buying something for his girlfriend while she was fawning all over him. A truthful answer would probably get her to stop that.  
  
"For my boyfriend," he countered easily, and he was right. The girl was immediately done staring at him and going about her job, leading him to the counter. Although, as soon as she was there she seemed to go right back to where she had been.  
  
"Are you, by any chance, Yuki Eiri? You look a lot like him, you know?" she asked, leaning over on the desk slightly. Yuki arched an eyebrow, how the hell had she managed to figure that one out. She really didn't seem old enough to really know his books all to well.  
  
He sighed and set his expression back to normal, sliding his sunglasses down to uncover his eyes from her. "Happy?" he asked, pushing his sunglasses back up as she fell back onto the seat behind her, probably set there for such an occasion. She nodded mutely and took a couple minutes for the feeling to settle in.  
  
Eiri turned to glare at a young girl as she pushed her way past him forcefully, slamming the door behind her as she left, not buying anything.  
  
"You asshole!" she screamed after slamming the door behind her, shoving her way through the crowd determinedly.  
  
"I'm a really big fan of Shindo-san's, you know?" the girl started off and Yuki had to roll his eyes. Just about every girl he thought couldn't know him did through Shuichi. It was becoming quite a bother. Then again, he was sure the same thing went for Shuichi.  
  
"I figured," Yuki commented, still staring after the girl who'd been so rude to him. He could have sworn that she hated him, though for what he couldn't even begin to guess. Didn't matter, someone famous was sure to have a couple enemies.  
  
"So, you want to buy something for him, right?" Yuki turned his attention back to the girl, who was leaning over the counter again, staring up at him and smiling happily. "Of course you do! Today's Valentines Day, right? Everyone knows what he got you," she stated, twirling her hair around her fingers as she talked. Yuki stared down at her in confusion. Why was it that everyone knew more about Shuichi and his lives than he did? "Oops, never mind I said that! So, what were you thinking of getting him?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Shuichi stuck his tongue out of his mouth as he continued to write feverishly, listening to the track Hiro and Suguru had given him to work the lyrics out to. He'd begged them for WEEKS to make him an arrangement and they had, now all he'd needed was the lyrics. After reading all of Yuki's little poems and stories and the like Shuichi had set about the lyrics, determined to get them finished. He now knew what he meant to Yuki and he was damn sure going to show Yuki how much he meant to him. He was hoping like mad that Yuki would come.  
  
He screamed as his cell phone ran, picking it up quickly. He hoped against hope that it was Yuki and was a little disappointed when he heard Hiro's voice on the other end instead. However, he didn't let Hiro know how disappointed he was and shut off the recording immediately, scribbling down the last line.  
  
"Shuichi, are you listening to me?!" Hiro demanded and Shuichi screamed again, drawing a line over his nice little piece of paper. "Obviously not," the other boy commented and Shuichi tore off the paper, getting ready to read back over Yuki's stuff. "Shuichi, what are you doing?! The concert's in an hour and we have to practice that song of yours at least once before we go out there!" Hiro screamed and for the third time in the last two minutes Shuichi screamed, shoving the paper in his pocket hurriedly.  
  
"I'm sorry Hiro, I was finishing it up. Sorry, sorry," he apologized as he ran for the elevator, slamming the down button and swearing under his breath as he hurt his poor finger.  
  
"Not as sorry as you're going to be when we get back. K's throwing a fit," Hiro stated and Shuichi bounced from one foot to the other as the elevator seemed to go at half-speed.  
  
"We?" he asked, running out of the elevator and practically running into Hiro.  
  
"I figured it's be quicker if I came back to pick you up," he stated, motioning to his motorcycle. Shuichi's eyes lit up and he turned his cell phone of happily.  
  
"You're a lifesaver!" he cheered as they both got on, heading off for the concert hall.  
  
"Pay me back by telling me you got the lyrics done this time. I can't guarantee you K'll let you live this time," Hiro threw back over his shoulder as they made their way down the road and Shuichi nodded, smiling happily.  
  
"All done! I finally found out what Yuki thought about me today!" Shuichi cheered, thinking back to the excerpts Yuki had let him read about him. He'd been so happy he'd written the entire song in less than half an hour and was STILL happy with the results.  
  
"And that was…?" Hiro prompted, not daring to glance back at Shuichi like he wanted to. Even with Ayaka he still couldn't deny the attraction he felt towards Shuichi, the attraction he was sure everyone seemed to feel towards him. He was just that kind of a person.  
  
"He really cares about me, Hiro. He cares and he seems to think about me an awful lot." Hiro smiled for his friend, stopping in front of the concert hall and flinching as Sakano ran up to them, K following at a dangerously slow pace.  
  
"Shindo-kun, what were you doing?! We've been waiting for you for a half hour now!" Sakano screamed, not aware of the fact that both boys' attention was fixed on K and the gun he was holding. That and the fact that he seemed very eager to use it. Hiro had watched him load it with a gleam in his eyes that scared him.  
  
"I take it you finished the lyrics," K asked dangerously calm as Shuichi found the end of the gun in his mouth. He could simply nod, watching in terror as K's finger twitched on the trigger. "And it's ready to be practiced?" he asked again in that dangerous calm. Shuichi nodded twice, hopping K would forgive him for being late.  
  
Much to his relief K was pleased with the news, putting his gun away. "Good boy!" he cheered in another one of his English outbursts, grabbing the back of Sakano's shirt and dragging him off backstage, the boys following.  
  
Suguru, however, was not in any mood to be toyed with, whether the lyrics were finished or not. His glare as Shuichi walked into the room was enough to prove that and Hiro leaned over to whisper fair warning to his friend.  
  
"Fujisaki-kun's upset about your 'work attitude' and I wouldn't suggest talking to him very much until at least after the concert." Shuichi nodded and ran into his changing room, changing at light speed and running back out with his song held in the air happily.  
  
"This is the next big hit for Bad Luck!" he cheered, quite confident with his song. It was Yuki's song, and anything for Yuki could be nothing less than perfect or Shuichi wouldn't accept it. He was surprised he himself had passed the test. To tell the truth, he probably hadn't. He'd never tried it on himself.  
  
"Then let's here this perfect song before we have to sing it on stage and you make a fool of yourself," Hiro teased, making sure his guitar was tuned. It was, of course, he wasn't Shuichi after all. He'd been there on time and had plenty of time to tune it.  
  
"Okay!" he agreed, reading over his lyrics one more time before nodding to himself and setting time on a small stand in front of him, in case he should forget something. Not that it was very likely. This was Yuki's song, and there was nothing Shuichi would ever forget about Yuki.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yuki leaned against the wall opposite the display of TVs and watched as the announcers continued on about the big concert, occasionally playing scenes of the crowd outside and the place they were going to be performing. He lit another cigarette, watching the smoke disappear into the air, mingling with the breath of the couples that walked past him, talking about this and that, and a couple giving him strange looks. One look from him immediately sent them on their ways, though.  
  
One such girl, however, wasn't so smart. Yuki recognized her as the girl from earlier that day, teal hair and ice-blue eyes making her stand out in the crowd. He honestly had to wonder why both her and Shuichi seemed to have such an obsession with dying their hair weird colors. Didn't they know it only made them stand out more? For Shuichi that wasn't a necessarily good thing.  
  
"Hiya!" she chirped, turning to stare at the TVs, standing next to him. He ignored her, as he had earlier that day. "Watching Shuichi's concert from here? I know you have a ticket," He took the cigarette from his mouth and glanced down at her, not bothering to turn his head.  
  
"Must you rub it in my face?" he asked, tapping the ash off the end of his cigarette as she turned to look up at him, smiling.  
  
"What, the fact that the press knows everything about you or the fact that you're being a bastard and watching your boyfriend from here when you have a ticket he begged for for hours?" Yuki took a long draw from his cigarette and turned to stare at her, letting the smoke out in a long breath above her head. "Both, right?"  
  
"How do you know how Shuichi got that ticket?" he asked smugly and CB glared up at him.  
  
"Because it was mine! He begged me for hours to get the damn thing. I would have thought they'd give him tickets but obviously the show was big enough that the company didn't feel they could take the loose in profits to give the band tickets for their friends. I heard they did that there normally," she stated, thinking back on it. Yuki sighed, she was obviously level with Shuichi as far as intelligence went.  
  
"Tohma's a bastard," he stated offhandedly, shoving his hands in his coat pockets to keep them warm, fingers brushing the case of Shuichi's present. He'd almost forgot he'd bought it for him when he'd run into this girl. She was the most persistent thing he'd ever met, rivaling Shuichi for the spot.  
  
"Anyway!" she announced, turning his attention back to her. "You know you're probably the only person with a ticket that ISN'T going tonight?" Yuki nodded, what was she after? "And I bet you're the only person that Shuichi really wants to show up…" Yuki was getting really annoyed with this girl, even more so than before.  
  
"Just tell me what you want and leave me alone," he demanded, voice icy cold. She blinked a couple times and Yuki dropped what was remaining of his cigarette to the ground, smashing it beneath his feet. She sighed and looked up at him, eyes demanding.  
  
"And if you're not going to use it then you should give it back to me! It is MINE!" Yuki blinked a couple times at her demand, this girl was really selfish enough to ask Shuichi's boyfriend for his ticket, simply because she claimed it was hers?!  
  
"Who said I wasn't going to use it?" he asked calmly, staring her in the eyes. He pulled the ticket out and read it carefully before turning to leave. "Maybe I will use it after all, if you're so determined to have it then it must be worth something to someone," he threw over his shoulder as he walked away and CB nodded.  
  
"Yes, Shuichi." She screamed in surprise as she was pushed to the side roughly by another girl, brushing herself off before turning to apologize about standing in the middle of the sidewalk. However, no one was there anymore. She simply shrugged and turned to walk back home. "She must be in one hell of a rush. Maybe she has tickets, too. Wish I wouldn't have traded Shuichi my ticket for lunch. I'll have to demand something else for having to put up with his boyfriend," she stated to herself as she ran home, hoping she could find a tape for it before it started.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The rest of the room could only stand in shock as Shuichi finished his song, only noticing that the music had stopped when he opened his eyes. In fact, the music had stopped only a verse into the song, but Shuichi had kept on anyway, oblivious to the fact that he was singing without a single note to back him up.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked, looking around. He picked his paper up and glanced over the words quickly before turning to Hiro and Suguru again, tears hanging in his eyes. "Yuki was right, wasn't he?" he asked and all his stunned band mates could do was shake their heads. Neither of them had expected something so heartfelt to come from cheery little Shindo Shuichi, especially not after so long procrastinating. They had all been expecting something mid-way, and had simply been blown away by Shuichi's performance.  
  
The words weren't all that surprised them, but the way Shuichi sang. Every word seemed to come more from your own heart than his, and giving into them was easier than anything either of them had ever done before. If Shuichi's song didn't reach Yuki then there really wasn't any hope for their relationship. They could only hope Yuki wasn't that heartless.  
  
"That was perfect Shindo-kun," Sakano reassured him, smiling slightly as he stepped forward. K stood behind him, even his eyes widened with shock from Shuichi's outstanding performance. Shuichi turned to face him, eyes bright.  
  
"Really?" he asked, his entire outlook hanging on Sakano's answer.  
  
"I've never heard anything so excellent," Suguru added and Shuichi turned to face him, practically glowing. So he wasn't all that bad and writing after all! Yuki could be proud of his song for him! That was, if he performed it. He wasn't going to play it if he wasn't there. Yuki HAD to be the first person to hear it outside their practice room.  
  
"You think Yuki will like it?" he asked, reading over his words again quickly, almost like he was afraid of looming mistakes. Hiro couldn't help but to snatch the lyrics away from his worried friend, holding them in front of his face and pressing his hand to Shuichi's forehead lightly.  
  
"If he doesn't the bastard's going to have to answer to me," Hiro promised his friend as he snatched the paper back from him. He winced as he heard K cocking his gun again.  
  
"And me!" the American cheered gleefully, scaring all the right- minded people in their practice room. It was about then that Shuichi noticed the two standing in the doorway, blushing slightly and walking over to open it, staring at Ryuichi and Noriko for a long time before Ryuichi smiled at him confidently, actually looking quite close to his age, which was surprising.  
  
"Congratulations. I only heard the end but…" Ryuichi paused, thinking of the right word, "it was quite touching," he finished, laughing childishly. Shuichi smiled as well and Ryuichi melted back into his normal, childish self again, holding Kumagoro up happily. "We wanted to wish you good luck! Tatsuha came with us but I told him he wasn't allowed back here. Is it okay if Kumagoro comes back here?" he asked, looking around.  
  
"I don't mind," Shuichi commented and Ryuichi hugged his rabbit happily.  
  
"Noriko, what are you doing here?" K asked, putting his gun away again. Noriko smiled innocently, clinging to Ryuichi's arm.  
  
"We came to see the show and Ryu-chan wanted to wish Shuichi good luck," she stated and Ryuichi nodded.  
  
"Yeah! Kumagoro wanted to wish you good luck, too Shuichi!" Shuichi nodded, smiling brightly.  
  
"Thanks you guys! I'll do my best!" he cheered and Noriko stood up, grabbing the back of Ryuichi's shirt and pulling him away forcefully as he tried to jump Shuichi, as was typical for the pop idol.  
  
"So, when do you want to include your song in the program?" Sakano asked as Shuichi closed the door behind him, turning to the group and leaning against the door. He let out a puff of air before looking up at him and half-smiling.  
  
"Whenever Yuki gets here. I'll tell them to start it," Shuichi stated, looking from Sakano to K to his band mates.  
  
"And…if he never gets here?" Sakano asked, wringing his hands nervously. He could only hope Shuichi wasn't going to say what he thought he was going to say.  
  
"Then it never plays. This is Yuki's song and I want him to hear it the first time I perform it," he stated firmly and Sakano was dazed by the fierce determination in his voice, Shuichi wasn't going to back down no matter what they said.  
  
"You want us to play a recording under our music, just in case?" Suguru asked, addressing no one in particular. "Or should Shuichi sing it without us?" Sakano shook his head.  
  
"I think a recording will be a good idea for now. Shuichi's still liable to make a small mistake and without the music behind him…"  
  
"I'll crumble," Shuichi finished for him, knowing that no matter what he'd fall apart the second he screwed up on Yuki's song. The same thing went for if Yuki didn't show up. He could only hope to keep his mind clear enough to sing the other songs that night.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Hey, guess who I ran into twice today!" CB exclaimed as she finally reached her house, kicking her shoes off in the doorway and running inside, stumbling as she put her slippers on as she ran.  
  
"A lot of people. You're always running into things," Sarah commented from the doorway and CB rolled her eyes. Sarah laughed and followed her 'sister' into the living room, dropping a tape in front of her as she dropped to her knees in front of the video cabinet. "I figured you'd want one, right?" she asked, sitting down on the floor in front of the TV.  
  
"Yeah, but you still haven't guessed," CB stated as she undid the plastic wrap, walking on her knees over to the trashcan and dropping it inside, swearing as it stuck to her fingers.  
  
"Shindo Shuichi," her sister asked, knowing that Shuichi's younger sister and CB had been friends for a while now. CB shook her head and sat down next to Sarah.  
  
"Nope, but you're kinda close. They know each other," she teased and Sarah thought a while before rolling her eyes and laughing at her, pushing her over gently so she fell on her side.  
  
"Let me guess, you ran into super-hunk Yuki Eiri?" CB sat up and nodded happily. Sarah rolled her eyes before turning back to the TV. "You don't honestly expect me to believe that, do you?" CB shrugged.  
  
"Believe what you want but he was a super jerk to me. He was holding up traffic and I told him so and he almost ran me over. Then he was treating me bad when I was trying to do Shuichi a favor and get him to go to the concert!" CB protested, crossing her arms.  
  
"Oh, the trauma big sister has to endure," Jamie stated melodramatically as she walked into the room, dropping a bowl of candy (mostly chocolates) in front of CB and a bowl of popcorn in front of Sarah and herself. CB glared at her and started picking through the bowl for Snickers.  
  
"Say what you want, he was rude. Went off to the concert though. He probably won't make it in time…" Sarah sighed and took a Snickers bar from CB's pile.  
  
"He has a car, CB. He can get places faster than you can." CB glared at her big sister for two reasons: 1) she'd stolen her Snickers bar, that little bitch and 2) reminding her once again that she was one of her only friends that couldn't drive.  
  
"Yeah, that he wrecked. Didn't you see the news? They were talking about it for a long time afterwards. Can't imagine what was going through his mind…" CB stated absent-mindedly, taking some of Sarah's popcorn as revenge for her Snickers bar. "Samie still owes me a Snickers…" she stated off-handedly as she continued to watch the TV with high interest.  
  
"I'm sure that's the first thing on her mind right now…" Jamie responded, tossing a piece of popcorn at the screen as a picture appeared on the screen and the reporters started on their speech about how the 'unexpected cease of popular pop band ASK seemed lost on this band and their sales have sky rocketed both before and after the event…' It had become a sisterly pact to hate ASK since they'd heard part of the story from CB, who'd heard part of the story from Maiko.  
  
"You're not deserving of a Snickers…" CB stated to herself before finally settling on a Reesees cup to throw at poor Aizawa Tachi, hitting him in the forehead with it. "I win!" she cheered, taking some more of her sisters' popcorn. They'd started a game of 'who can maim Aizawa Tachi first' ever since they'd heard the story. Hitting him in the head was their version of maim for this game. They also happened to play it occasionally on the computer. Minus Sarah, she wasn't as hateful as Jamie and CB.  
  
'…and in a few moments Bad Luck will take the stage, being watched by thousands of people in the audience and millions more watching on TV. We can only wonder what Shuichi Shindo is thinking at this moment…' the TV droned endlessly and CB turned on her tape, leaning over to retrieve her Reesees before settling down for good.  
  
"I can't wait to hear Shuichi's new song!" she cheered happily and both Sarah and Jamie nodded their agreement.  
  
"I don't think anyone can," Sarah stated, taking a handful of popcorn.  
  
"Hope he performs it. Heck, hope he finished it," CB commented before turning up the volume.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"That little brat, that little brat, that little brat…" the young girl chanted, tossing another stone into the water. She'd been following Yuki for the last half hour at least and she was determined in her task now. The little brat who'd stolen her happiness wouldn't get the Happily Ever After he took from her. She just had to get a few things before she could finish her task.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Shindo Shuichi smiled happily as he walked onto the stage, eyes darting over the crowd, mainly the first row seats. He'd spent forever trying to get tickets for Yuki and had made certain they'd be somewhere that they could both see each other. He didn't let his smile fade as he realized that Yuki wasn't there, he hadn't really expected him to be. He had only hoped so.  
  
Shuichi spoke to the crowd for a while, not aware of what he was saying but at the same time knowing exactly what it was by heart. He wanted to focus on the words, but all his mind could think about was Yuki and the seat he was supposed to be in. The only empty seat of the entire concert.  
  
Hiro watched as Shuichi talked, coming off as bright and cheerful as he always did, but Hiro knew better. Even though he'd wiped every trace of it from his face and voice, he could still tell. They way Shuichi's eyes glanced around the crowd when he spoke. It wasn't like he was trying to address more than one person, it was like he was looking for the person to address. That heartless bastard, Yuki was the only thing Hiro could think of as Shuichi cued the first song. He didn't think any of them would forgive Yuki if he didn't show up.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yuki swore as he pushed his way through the crowd that had found its way around the concert hall. It was bad enough that he had to deal with Shuichi's fans on a normal basis, but to have all of them crowded together like that was more than he could take for any extended period of time. Was probably more than most normal people could for an extended period of time.  
  
He blinked and watched as someone else seemed very determined to make her way through the crowd (not to say that every wasn't trying to get up to the front) and succeeding. He swore under his breath as he made his own way through, eventually making it where he wanted to be, and handing the man the ticket he'd had to hold onto for dear life since he'd came near the crowd.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The girl watched from behind the curtains as Shuichi continued to sing, looking down at the man at her feet. If he was supposed to be protecting the teen he sure did a lousy job. She absently wondered whether she was doing the right thing taking her revenge out here, but there was no doubt about it. Yuki'd hurt her, and right or not he was going to pay. He hadn't exactly been right to hurt her, either.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Shuichi's face lit up as he caught sight of Yuki, struggling to finish his song and not call out to him as was normal. Yuki'd never know how much his showing up meant to him. Not to say that Shuichi wouldn't try. That, however, was more than Yuki'd done to express his feelings.  
  
A small flash of color backstage caught his attention and he glanced over, catching sight of the girl standing there. He also didn't miss the gun in her hand and the unconscious backstage crew by her feet, Sakano and K included.  
  
His violet eyes widened in panic for a split-second before turning pleading. The girl jumped at the look in his eyes, confusion taking over the firm determination that had controlled her face before.  
  
Shuichi turned back to the crowd as he finished his song, smile still held in place. Afterwards he turned to her with the same pleading eyes and mouthed the words 'one more song' before turning to his band mates and giving them the cue.  
  
The crowd was immediately screaming as soon as the unfamiliar tune began to play. That was the reason most of them were there, to hear Shindo Shuichi's new song. They'd all loved his latest composition, and he had promised this one would be his best. They weren't disappointed.  
  
By the fourth line the entire concert hall was quite, minus the trance-like singing of Shindo Shuichi and the music of Hiro and Fujisaki, both determined not to stop playing for him. Even the young girl was left completely speechless.  
  
Yuki watched Shuichi singing in his own daze. He knew the song was his, could tell since Shuichi'd first started singing. He couldn't seem to remember why he'd ever wanted to push him away. It was entirely his own fault when they hurt each other, it was his memories and his cold attitude that always seemed to hurt them both.  
  
Shuichi opened his eyes again as the song faded out, locking eyes with Yuki. He was smiling brightly and Yuki smiled slightly in return, making Shuichi's face brighten more (if that was possible).  
  
It was at that moment that the crowd broke out of their trance and the entire concert hall was filled with their cheers and screamed. Yuki didn't even flinch as the noise surrounded him, he could still hear Shuichi singing his song, and right then that was all he wanted to hear.  
  
Shuichi was the first person to hear the shot through the noise, his band mates realizing shortly after. He screamed and fell back, his small frame skidding across the floor. The crowd's cheers died suddenly, and only one thing broke the dead silence.  
  
"Shuichi!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
CB dropped her phone as she watched the TV screen with a daze. She was going to call Maiko about Shuichi's song and tell her how much she loved it but the ringing of her phone was now only a dull noise in the back of her mind. Her sisters had left earlier, talking about how they'd catch the concert later, leaving her to herself in the living room, reaching out towards the TV.  
  
The entire place was a complete wreck, and CB was no different, her mind had barely realized the phone had stopped ringing before she heard her friend's voice on the other line.  
  
"CB?! What's going on?!" Maiko demanded from the other line. She'd just turned don the TV a short while ago to find a small chaos on the screen, people ranting on and on about her brother. CB turned her head to the small device, brain trying to process it all. "Please, CB! Is niichan alright?!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It had taken him a while but Yuki finally managed to get past the security lines, running up the stairs and dropping next to Shuichi immediately. The whole concert hall had gone up in screams as soon as he'd screamed, and Yuki could barely hear the voices around him. "Shuichi?!" Shuichi winced and looked up at him, smiling weakly. His hand was gripping his right shoulder in pain, a small pool of blood already growing around his fingers.  
  
"I'm fine, I think. Hurts…" he managed, sitting up with a slight hiss of pain. Yuki sighed with relief as he noticed Shuichi'd only managed to get hit in the shoulder, but he was still on edge. He held the younger boy gently, letting him relax against him instead of making Shuichi waste energy sitting up on his own. He couldn't help but brush a few stray locks of hair away from Shuichi's face, pressing his hand against Shuichi's cheek as he smiled up at him contentedly.  
  
"Shuichi!" Hiro screamed, running to kneel by his best friend's side, smiling as he caught sight of his relaxed face. He'd been so worried about him that seeing him smiling like that was a definite relief.  
  
"Shindo-san, are you alright?" Suguru asked as he ran over to them, noticing the fact that none of them looked upset. He hadn't felt that it was his place to run to Shuichi before his friends, and to tell the truth even he had been too scared to move.  
  
"Well, it hurts," he managed through the pain, smiling at them anyway. "I'll be alright, though. Right?" he asked, looking up at Yuki pleadingly and Yuki nodded, smiling slightly and leaning over to kiss his forehead. He traced fingers over Shuichi's mouth gently and Shuichi kissed his fingers softly before relaxing and trying not to think about the pain his shoulder was in anymore.  
  
Yuki jumped as Shuichi went limp in his arms, staring at him like his gaze would wake him back up again. The only thing he could think at that moment was something along the lines of 'don't die don't die don't die don't die don't die don't die don't die…' but he wasn't really thinking much at all, only reacting.  
  
"Don't worry, he just blacked out," a young women stated as she leaned down next to the group, looking Shuichi over. She was decked out in your typical nurses uniform and checked Shuichi's pulse, glancing up at Yuki. "You his brother?"  
  
"Boyfriend," Yuki, Suguru, and Hiro countered together and she raised an eyebrow at him before nodding to herself and letting go of Shuichi's wrist. She stood up and motioned for Yuki to do the same.  
  
"Brother or boyfriend you're going to have to carry him to the ambulance, I'm not that strong and we were low on staff. Not that I think he'll mind too much," she stated as she saw the contented look firmly set on Shuichi's face. Yuki smiled at her politely, loosing his cool exterior in the mayhem and stress of the situation.  
  
"He's kinda cute," the nurse observed, crossing her legs and taping on the window, indicating that the man up front could head back. "At least like that. I wouldn't know otherwise," she continued conversationally. It was obvious she was trying to distract Yuki from Shuichi's condition for a while, probably until they got there, but leaving that place had made him regain his composure a bit. He wasn't in the mood for a conversation, he was in the mood for a cigarette. However, Yuki somehow managed to know better and quickly shoved that thought aside.  
  
Instead of talking with the girl Yuki's mind remained on how he was going to manage to get the blood stain off his shirt. He wasn't just going to throw it away, it had cost a little too much to do that.  
  
After a long silence Yuki finally decided that expensive or not the shirt was going to have to go. The nurse had figured out that Yuki was anti- social a long time before that and had kept her mouth shut, letting him contemplate about his shirt in peace. This was, of course, just his own way of trying not to think about the fact that the young boy in his arms was the one staining his shirt red at the moment. Thinking about Kitazawa- sensei would probably be easier on him than thinking about that.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I think he's alright," CB tried to comfort her friend over the phone as they both sat watching the concert. CB was forced to rely on her closed captioning since her phone's volume was naturally so low. Maiko, however, still had her TV's volume on and was a good half-minute ahead of her in the latest news. They had both been watching when Yuki had carried Shuichi off with the nurse and had been watching for the liniest little notes about his condition ever since.  
  
"I think he's alright!" Maiko screamed on the other end and CB sighed in relief, still searching her closed captioning for any kind of broadcast about it. "They said he was shot in the arm but he should be okay! I wonder why they're taking him to the hospital then." CB could only shrug, massively relieved by her friend's news. She'd been hoping to hear something like that for the last ten minutes. She'd managed to become pretty good friends with Shuichi from the many times she was over hanging out with Maiko.  
  
"Beats me. You know I've never been all too bright," she stated and she could practically feel Maiko glaring at her.  
  
"You're plenty smart, just out of it," Maiko retorted and CB laughed.  
  
"And I think that hospitals have something to do with the real world and not educational stuff so I'm pretty much lost," CB reminded her. Maiko shrugged and they both laughed again. It felt good to laugh after the worry they had just gone through. It took a lot more energy to worry about people than they'd thought.  
  
"You wanna come over tomorrow? Maybe we could get my parents to drive us over to Yuki's house and we could say hi. It's been a while since you two last talked to each other, hasn't it?" Maiko asked, thinking ahead. CB shrugged, she hadn't thought it was that long ago.  
  
"A couple months maybe. I don't remember when I forked over my ticket to him. I still can't believe I did that! I had great seats, too!" Maiko laughed.  
  
"Yeah, you did. He did give you something in return, right? It's not like him to just take things from people," Maiko asked, knowing if he was happy enough Shuichi would probably forget his manners and run off.  
  
"Yeah, lunch next week. He said it was the only time he could afford to keep free."  
  
"Think he'd mind his sister trailing along?" Maiko asked and CB shrugged. "Would you mind his sister coming along?"  
  
"No way, but he's gotta bring that cutie Ryuichi with him then. I've been wanting to meet him," CB stated dreamily. Maiko rolled her eyes, she remembered the guy perfectly. Sounded just like someone CB'd want to meet.  
  
"I'm sure you would have. He's kind of…youish. Only worse." There really was no other way to describe him. She'd spent days cleaning the crayon marks off the floor after they'd left. She'd managed to make Shuichi do a bit of the cleaning, too, but not much. He'd had to leave with Ryuichi.  
  
"Yeah yeah, who cares, he's cute. Just so long as he's not like Yuki I don't care," CB responded. Yuki'd been a real jerk to her, yet he'd seemed kinda sweet to Shuichi on TV. Guys like him were too complicated for her little brain (which she was seriously starting to doubt existed) to understand.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Yuki…" Yuki looked up suddenly as someone called his name, staring up into a pair of wide purple eyes. He jumped a little at the closeness of the boy's face and Shuichi laughed, standing up straight, clasping his hands behind him and standing in front of him like an expectant school girl waiting for some kind of a comment about her newest outfit. And like that school girl what he was asking for was completely lost on Yuki.  
  
He didn't look bad like that, Yuki had to admit. He had taken the jacket off his concert uniform and was standing in front of him with what was remaining of it, a bandage wrapped around his upper arm where he'd gotten hit.  
  
Yuki reached out and ran his fingers feather-lightly over the area, watching Shuichi intently. Shuichi stared at his hand for a while before laughing softly.  
  
"I'm okay. It doesn't hurt as much right now. They've got me on some painkillers," he stated, looking quite adorable, concentrating so hard on what he was talking about. He always looks adorable when he's thinking Yuki admitted to himself, mentally laughing at himself for being so stupid. Shuichi always looked adorable. "Anyway," Shuichi stated suddenly, breaking Yuki from his thoughts, "what'd you think of your Valentines Day present?" he asked, smiling slightly. Yuki smiled back at him and shrugged.  
  
"I dunno, there was one thing I didn't like about it as much as the rest," he stated, smiling to himself as Shuichi's smile dropped.  
  
"And that was…the lyrics?" Shuichi asked, breaking. Yuki just couldn't agree with him! He couldn't! That would (for lack of a better word) suck. Badly.  
  
"I never said that. I was talking about the music, personally. It would have been much better without it. Would you sing it for me without it later?" Shuichi smiled happily and hugged Yuki tightly, practically glowing again.  
  
"I'm so glad you liked it! I tried really hard! Of course! Of course I'll sing it without the music! I'll sing it whenever you want me to!" he exclaimed happily and Yuki hugged him back.  
  
They stayed like that a while before Shuichi finally broke the contented silence. Leave it to Shuichi…  
  
"Umm, Yuki?" Yuki rolled his eyes. He'd kind of been enjoying the silence. He might not have heard the crowd but it sure as hell messed with his hearing.  
  
"Yeah?" he asked, a little agitated at Shuichi's little interruption.  
  
"You wanna leave? I feel kinda uneasy around here." Yuki smiled and let go of Shuichi, allowing him to stand up. Yuki followed soon afterwards, pulling out his cell phone and handing it to Shuichi as they walked outside. "What's this for?" he asked, looking up at Yuki in confusion.  
  
"I'm sure Hiro'd love to know how you're doing. Your manager and producer, too." Shuichi nodded and started dialing Hiro's number. He looked around as they walked down the street before looking up at Yuki.  
  
"Where's the car?" he asked, still waiting for Hiro to pick up. Yuki winced at the mention of his beloved car, wrecked on the side of the road. And he'd been upset when Shuichi'd almost made him dent the thing.  
  
"I'll take you by where I last saw it if you really want to know," Yuki commented and Shuichi pouted adorably, still waiting for Hiro to answer. Either he was out of the room or he'd turned his cell phone off. Either way Shuichi was going to wait until he picked up.  
  
"You mean we have to walk?" Yuki rolled his eyes, of course that meant they had to walk. He wasn't going to call a Taxi for something so trivial. They could both use the walk, after all. It wasn't like it was going to kill him to use his legs. "Never mind," Shuichi stated as Yuki didn't answer. He could take walking, it wasn't a big problem.  
  
Yuki sighed as Shuichi leaned against him as the walked, looking down at him. The idiot still had the phone to his ears and was shivering slightly, staring up at him pleadingly. Even Yuki had to admit it was kind of cruel to make him walk in what he was wearing. It wasn't exactly the warmest of clothing.  
  
"You want me to see if Tohma's willing to give us a ride?" Yuki asked. He knew Tohma wouldn't be all to pleased about having to pick Shuichi up, but he'd do just about anything Yuki asked of him. Besides, knowing that he was going too guaranteed that Tohma wasn't going to go crazy and drive the car off the road with Shuichi in it. Maybe Tohma wasn't the greatest idea for a ride…  
  
"Hiro's got a bike," Shuichi stated calmly and Yuki took his cell phone back from him.  
  
"If he hasn't answered now then he's not answering," he stated as he turned his cell phone off, fully aware of how much time Shuichi had spent waiting for his friend to pick up the phone. "Besides, the only reason I'm thinking about getting a ride is because you're shivering. A motorcycle isn't going to help that much. Besides, Hiro'd make me walk home." Shuichi laughed and clung to Yuki's coat happily.  
  
"What about Tohma? He'd probably strand me out somewhere until the next time he needed me to make an appearance," he countered and Yuki laughed as well, he did have a point. Shuichi simply smiled up at him as he laughed. It was something Shuichi didn't get to hear often, and he was sure that almost nobody else heard. Mostly from the fact that Yuki didn't talk to many other people.  
  
"Need a ride?" Shuichi screamed as the car pulled up to him, window rolling down to reveal K and Sakano. Shuichi blinked a couple times before Hiro stuck his head between the chairs.  
  
"We were going to pick you up but you'd already left," Hiro stated and Shuichi smiled, opening the door and climbing inside, dragging Yuki in with him. Shuichi made him sit down in the last remaining seat and sat down on the floor in front of him, scrunching up a bit but still fitting pretty well. Hiro sat down in his seat as the car drove off and Yuki picked Shuichi up to sit with him, setting him between his legs and running hands over his arms gently, avoiding the area where Shuichi was hurt.  
  
"Did you leave your cell phone behind?" Shuichi asked Hiro as he leaned back against Yuki, enjoying the feeling of his lover's body pressed against his. Yuki'd never been this nice to him before, and he really liked the feeling. Hiro nodded slightly.  
  
"Yeah, why?" he asked, a little confused. He knew Shuichi didn't have pockets on his concert clothes and couldn't have called him so he'd left it behind. He'd deal with any calls he got later.  
  
"The idiot was waiting for you to answer since we left the hospital," Yuki commented, leaning over to kiss Shuichi's shoulder gently, continuing to run his hands over his arms gently. "Warmer?" he asked softly, ignoring the strange looks he was earning from both Hiro and Suguru.  
  
He'd figured things out after the concert, and he was determined not to make Shuichi suffer because of him. He'd never wanted to before, but now he was more determined. Almost loosing him made him think of what could happen when he really did leave. Yuki couldn't make it without Shuichi anymore, and he'd almost lost him twice that day. Once being his fault.  
  
"Yeah," Shuichi answered contentedly, closing his eyes and really relaxing for the first time he could remember that day. Yuki kissed his shoulder again before taking the young singer's hands in his. Hiro and Suguru had thought they'd seen it all but they were wrong. Hiro would have never expected Yuki was capable of being nice, let alone actually going through with it, and the Yuki Suguru was staring at acted nothing like the one Shuichi and Hiro had described.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The young girl swore as Shuichi and Yuki stepped out of the car and into the apartment building. This was going to take a bit longer than she'd originally thought it would. She answered her cell phone as it rang, smiling at her friend's voice. "Hey Sarah, what's up?" she asked, Yuki and Shuichi temporarily forgotten.  
  
"Not much. Psy, can I as you something?" her friend asked politely. Psy nodded, waiting for her friend to continue. She knew that she would with or without her consent, she was just nice enough to ask. "Why haven't you come back yet? Crazy doesn't even know you exist," she added, hoping that Psy'd come over and talk to them. She hadn't seen her friend in ages.  
  
"Sorry, but I'm not going home. I have something I have to finish," Psy stated calmly, pulling the phone away from her ear to hang up. She could still hear her friend's voice before she pressed the button.  
  
"Psy, what are you talking about?! Come home af…" Sarah's voice was cut off as Pry hung up the phone. She wasn't going to tell Sarah what she was planning. Crazy'd just have to deal without knowing her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Tired?" Yuki asked as Shuichi's eyes drifted close, his head resting against his chest. He'd moved his laptop into the living room and set Shuichi n front of him in the same manner that he had in the car earlier and had set the laptop on his lap instead. This created some problems at first as Shuichi played around, trying to hold Yuki's hand when he was typing and typing him random messages before he had finally stopped and let Yuki type in peace.  
  
"No…Well, maybe just a little bit," Shuichi answered, opening his eyes and looking up at him. Yuki smiled and saved his document, typing something two returns under his normal writing, wrapping an arm around his waist. Shuichi smiled and turned back to the screen of Yuki's laptop, reading the secluded words before looking back at Yuki and smiling brightly.  
  
"What?" Yuki asked innocently, reaching into his back pocket to pull out a pack of cigarettes. Shuichi's smile didn't falter.  
  
"Do you have anything for me?" he asked just as innocently, already pretty sure of his answer. Yuki blinked, continued their little 'innocence act,' opening his cigarette pack and clinging to the item inside. "Yuki! No fair teasing me like this!" the younger boy whined, looking up at him pitifully.  
  
"I take it you're referring to this?" he asked as he pulled his hand out of his pack, clutching a short, gold chain in his hands. Shuichi's eyes sparkled as he caught site of the pendant hanging from Yuki's fingers. "You like it?" he asked as Shuichi continued to stare at it.  
  
It was a heart (the outline of one anyway), lined with rubies. Inside the open area were two letters, an 'E,' outlined in the same way as the heart with diamonds, and an 'S,' the tip clinging to the end of the 'E' and also lined with rubies. It was the prettiest thing Shuichi'd ever seen…  
  
"Mine?" he barely managed, reaching out to let it rest on his palm gently, almost afraid to touch it. Yuki laughed and let go of the chain, letting Shuichi hold it.  
  
"No, I bought it for an old girlfriend of mine named Susan. Of course it's for you," he retorted, but his voice wasn't harsh, just…teasing. He ran his fingers through Shuichi's hair as he continued to stare up at him. He sighed and closed his laptop, moving it from Shuichi's lap to the table in front of them. Shuichi had immediately turned around, burying his face in Yuki's shirt as he hugged him, holding him close.  
  
Yuki was, needless to say, a little shocked by his reaction, but held the boy anyway, running his fingers through his hair. He blinked as he felt tears drop onto his leg, sitting Shuichi upright to stare at him. "What's wrong?" he asked, worried he'd done something wrong. He was trying his best to be as nice to Shuichi as he possibly could, but in doing so he dropped all his barriers, leaving him vulnerable to just about anything hurtful Shuichi said or did. Watching him cry hurt.  
  
Shuichi shook his head and wiped the tears from his eyes, smiling at him slightly. "Nothing's wrong, honestly. It's just…" Yuki brought one of his hands up from Shuichi's waist, pressing it to his cheek gently as Shuichi stared up at him. Shuichi, in turn, took his hand in his and pressed his face against him, tears sliding down his face again. "I guess I'm just scared what'll happen when I loose you. You're being so nice and I just…I don't ever want you to leave me," he admitted, turning his face to kiss Yuki's palm.  
  
"You won't loose me," Yuki stated firmly, pulling Shuichi tighter against him. "You promised me you'd find me, remember?" Shuichi nodded, eyes brightening somewhat. "Well, now I'm promising you that I'll wait. No matter how long it takes." Shuichi's smile returned again and he hugged Yuki tightly, chain still dangling from his fingertips.  
  
"One day I'll find a way to repay you for this, Yuki! I promise you!" he cheered. And he wasn't just talking about the necklace. Everything Yuki had gotten him, done for him, everything sweet Yuki had said to him. Somehow Shuichi'd repay him for all of it. Yuki just smiled and held him.  
  
"I'm the one who seems to have the bigger debt," he commented and Shuichi shook his head, sitting up quickly to put his new necklace on, tilting it up to glance at it. He laughed brightly and hugged him again, both of them staying that way until Shuichi fell asleep.  
  
Yuki sighed as he finally realized Shuichi was asleep, picking him up carefully and walking to his room, lying him on the bed gently. To tell the truth he didn't have all that much energy left from the worry he'd gone through over the boy that day, climbing in next to him, not bothering to change. He'd already thrown away the shirt he'd been wearing earlier and had replaced it with something a bit more casual. Shuichi had changed into his sleep close as soon as they'd reached the house.  
  
"Yuki…" Shuichi reached out to clutch his shirt and Yuki smiled, pulling Shuichi against him and holding him as he closed his eyes and fell asleep as well.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Psy sighed from outside what she had found out was Shuichi and Yuki's apartment door. She'd been running her plan over and over again in her mind, and she was seriously starting to doubt herself. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with Shindo-san, but she knew that he was the only way to hurt Yuki. Yuki wouldn't care if she killed him, she knew that much. Therefore, there was only one option…  
  
Standing up she opened the door to the apartment, having picked the lock a long time before she'd started doubting herself. She didn't bother to shut it behind her, she'd need to leave in a couple minutes anyway. Thinking of which…Psy checked her watch, noting that it was 11:50. She didn't know why she cared, but she had a feeling she should.  
  
After a short while of looking around, and nearly tripping over everything Shuichi owned, she'd located the bedroom, glaring at the picture the two of them made. It was disgusting, two men together. Even more so was the fact that this was her Yuki. Shuichi had no right to take him from her, sweet or not.  
  
She placed a hand over his mouth and shook him, leaning down to whisper in his ear as his eyes opened slowly. "Wake him up and I kill you both, got it?" Shuichi nodded slowly and Psy nodded to herself, satisfied with the boy's logic. She'd never shoot Yuki, but there was no way he'd know that. "Get up," she demanded and Shuichi did so, feeling the gun pressed against his back almost as soon as he did. "Since I have nothing against you I'll give you one grace. You can say your good-bye to him, just so long as he doesn't wake up." Her sentence was punctuated as she pulled back the hammer, indicating that she wouldn't hesitate to fire if he said a word.  
  
Shuichi nodded and she let go of his mouth, pressing the gun against his neck now in case he wanted to get smart with her and fight back. She was surprised when he simply unclasped something from his neck and leaned over to wrap the chain around Yuki's wrist, curling his fingers around what hung between his wrist and the pendant.  
  
Psy didn't speak for a while as Shuichi ran his thumb over Yuki's fingers, staring at the item resting at the end of the chain. To tell the truth she really couldn't find much of anything to say. "I guess I'll be the one waiting," he stated softly before standing back up, turning to face Psy in her moment of awe. "What next?" he asked, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He found the gun pressed against his throat.  
  
"Back around and out the door, Shindo-san," she stated coldly, fear overtaking her as she remembered the fact that Shuichi wasn't as helpless now as he had been before.  
  
"Alright," he answered meekly and headed out, tears falling from his eyes as soon as he left the bedroom, walking numbly to the door and outside. Almost as soon as Psy was out the door she closed it behind her, motioning to the wall with her gun.  
  
"Sit," she demanded and Shuichi did so, staring up at her. He knew he had a pretty good chance if he tried, but he didn't want her to hurt Yuki. Therefore, he continued to do as he was told. Not to say that was guaranteeing Yuki'd remain unharmed, but at least he'd know he tried.  
  
For the first time Psy and Shuichi got a good look at each other, and what each found was equally disturbing. Psy had not expected to find Shuichi so innocent and…cute. And definitely not as sweet as he had so far proven himself to be. Shuichi couldn't believe the resemblance she held to someone…someone he knew he owed something. He probably would have been able to thing of her name if he wasn't so scared.  
  
"So you're Yuki's new toy, eh?" she asked, knowing from the way Yuki had acted after her first attempt that it wasn't true. However, she couldn't help but say it anyway. Hurting him was like hurting Yuki, she knew it would do the same amount of damage.  
  
"Looks more like I'm your toy right now than his, doesn't it?" he asked in return, nodding his head towards the gun Psy still carried. "Can I ask you one favor, please?" he asked, tears ceasing their flow for a brief second.  
  
"Out with it," Psy demanded, checking her watch. It was 11:58. Not that she cared, she just needed to do something other than look at Shuichi. After his silence Psy turned to glare at him in agitation. "If you're going to ask something of me ask it now! I'm being generous so you'd best not take advantage of it!" she demanded, screaming in whispers. Shuichi's eyes were pleading when he stared at her.  
  
"Please don't kill me on Valentines Day, it means something to me. This is the only day I've ever felt like he cared. I don't want it to be ruined. Please," he begged, not quite resorting to clasping his hands in front of him but damn close. If she said no he'd die before she even fired.  
  
"Fine, you have two minutes until then, though," she stated, watching as her watch counted off the seconds Shuichi had left to live.  
  
"What'd he do to you?" Shuichi asked calmly and Psy jumped, looking towards where Shuichi was sitting, looking up at her. She snorted and went back to watching the seconds tick away.  
  
"Why should I tell you?" she asked. Sixty seconds left.  
  
"I'm going to die because Yuki did something to you. I think I deserve to know a little," he stated with a trace of humor, smiling slightly ever as the tears streamed his face.  
  
"He hurt me. Is that enough for you?" she asked, the boy didn't have all that long left.  
  
"He hurt me too, but I've never thought about taking revenge on anyone for it." Shuichi laughed softly to himself. "Only a wall." Psy laughed a little at this as well, before checking her watch and noting firmly that it was time. She turned back to him and smiled apologetically.  
  
"Sorry kid, time's up," she stated and Shuichi nodded.  
  
"I know. Tell Yuki I'll wait, too."  
  
At 12:01, February 15 two things happened.  
  
A shot fired  
  
and  
  
Yuki Eiri awoke to find himself alone  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
There will be another chapter…I hope. I just have to get around to it. Hope you liked it (I'm very aware of the fact that it sucked but it might be to your taste, I never know). I kinda beat around the bush about killing Shuichi (can anyone else tell I kinda dragged that on). I didn't want to do it, but I figured it would make this story more interesting than one of those 'Happily Ever After Ones." Please tell me what you think, I'm hoping to finish it within a week.  
  
APPOLOGY:  
  
Okay, okay. So I have to admit that CB was annoying. There is an actual point to her being there (believe it or not) and the only reason she's there is kind of to lengthen between the serious points. I was hoping by switching scenes over to something else there'd be suspense. Her actual reason is revealed in chapter two, and it's not very big. I suck at the kinds of scenes she's forced to cover, that's the ONLY reason I did it I SWEAR. She wasn't supposed to be entertaining, she was kind of supposed to make you wait to find out what was going on. Sorry if she was really all that annoying...  
  
BTW—I also have this posted in my reviews if you want to read it again. Sorry she was annoying and all that. Another thing, CB isn't really a self insert. I'm quite depressive (as you can tell from reading my fanfic) and too shy to talk to anyone really. She's just the type of person I'd like to be, outgoing and fun. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I can't say sorry enough if you really hated her. 


	2. Loosing Love

Disclaimers: Gravitation and its characters do not belong to me (I only wish they did)  
  
Notes: Notes: Shounen ai (no duh), meant to be sad but I'm not sure if it worked. Characters OOC (because I just can't seem to keep them in character for long).  
  
~*Bloodred Valentine*~  
  
Yuki's brain could hardly understand the most recent predicament it had been plunged into. He had woken up with Shuichi gone, pendant hung around his wrist. Nothing else. He'd looked for the singer for a while now before hearing a small noise outside of his apartment. Sighing with relief he walked to the door.  
  
"Idiot just had to leave for something," Yuki commented, trying to distill the worry that had risen. He knew he had awoken to something, probably Shuichi breaking something again, and the idea that it was a gunshot floated around in the back of his head. An idea he didn't want to think back on. When he had found no trace of Shuichi in his apartment his fears had only grown worse.  
  
However, as he opened the door to his apartment and entered the hallway he was surprised to see that girl from earlier sitting there, a gun held limply between her hands. Yuki immediately pushed past her, clinging to the necklace he'd found around his wrist in his hand tightly as he caught sight of Shuichi against the wall.  
  
He knelt in front of him, hands reaching out instinctively to touch him, tears rising in his eyes again. This all had to be some sort of a terrible nightmare. A terrible nightmare brought on by the memories of the concert and his past. He reached out to stroke the boy's hair tenderly, not daring anything more. He didn't know why but he was afraid to touch him, to go near him. Edging closer to him, touching him, either would bring him crashing back into the fact that this was reality. THIS was real, life with Shuichi was no more than a dream now.  
  
Turning to face the girl the tears fell from his eyes, his glare ten times more vicious than anyone had ever seen before. No one had earned so much of Yuki's hate before. Psy dropped the gun and fell back, scooting across the floor to the other wall, staring at him. This is all your own fault, for hurting Shindo-san. You should have known he'd be angry.  
  
"This is all your fault for hurting me. You should have known I'd be angry," she stated, using her thoughts and panic against him. Yuki's eyes widened and he looked back at Shuichi. The wall and floor were already stained with his blood, his clothes already a deep match of red and blue. A small trail of blood ran from his mouth, and Yuki shivered. He couldn't take much more. How many more people would die before him...because of him.  
  
"My...fault..." he echoed back hollowly and Psy nodded shakily, seeing the effect this was having on Yuki. She had been right to go for Shindo-san, this obviously hurt him a lot more than she had thought it would. She'd gotten her revenge.  
  
"That's right, Yuki. It's your fault. Do you even remember my name? Do you? Do you even remember if you asked?!" she snapped, glaring at him as he turned wounded eyes on her. It was a look she'd never thought she'd see from Yuki Eiri, heartless bastard novelist extraordinaire. He didn't hear the words she'd just spoken though, the same two words running through his head.  
  
His fault.  
  
It was his fault.  
  
His fault Shuichi was dead. Was it just his destiny to hurt the people close to him? To kill them? He was starting to think that answer was yes. He wasn't afraid of being hurt anymore, he just wanted Shuichi back. He didn't want Shuichi to be hurt. Yet the fact of the matter was, he had hurt the girl, he had hurt Shuichi, and both had hurt him. Shuichi most of all by leaving him alone again. He wondered if it was worth it, both of them being happy for a little while, now knowing that Shuichi would have to loose all happiness he was supposed to have later on because of it. Payment. Yuki'd been happy, and now whatever God was watching over him wanted payment for it.  
  
Dammit.  
  
"Well, are you going to say something?!" she demanded, earning her courage back quickly. Yuki was just as heartless to her as he had been before. For the first time since he'd seen Shuichi his eyes focused on something else, bringing out the girl's features. No, it wasn't the girl from the street, but she sure looked a hell of a lot like her. Same color hair, blue eyes. Memories of her were slowly starting to find their way into his brain. A young girl he'd happened to like once, but nothing more. She had left after the first time he'd told her too. He'd figured that would be the last time he saw her again.  
  
That was why she'd done it.  
  
Because Yuki had treated her the way he had Shuichi.  
  
Only...  
  
She'd given up.  
  
"Why Shuichi?" he asked. He understood that the girl was upset with him, but to drag Shuichi into their argument? Why would she do something so...wrong? How could she kill someone as sweet and innocent as Shuichi in place of a cold bastard like himself. It didn't make sense.  
  
"Because I knew killing him would hurt you. I don't want you dead, but I want you to learn. Don't do this to anyone again. You shouldn't have done it the first time around." she tried to keep her voice straight as she talked but it shook. Staring at Yuki's eyes hurt more than she would have imagined. It was obvious how much he'd been through, and for the first time she actually felt guilty about what she'd done to HIM. She'd felt sorry about hurting Shindo-san, not Yuki, but bringing more tears to Yuki's wounded eyes…she couldn't help but feel sorry now.  
  
"I wouldn't have done it to anyone ever again," he spoke firmly, face determined. She didn't know what was running through his head but she would have given anything to find out. "I wasn't going to be with anyone other than Shuichi, and I won't." With that Yuki stood up, staring down at Shuichi again as the tears continued to fall freely. "Don't think you're getting away with this," he threatened and Psy shook her head.  
  
"I didn't want to." Yuki proceeded to ignore her, staring down at Shuichi, forcing himself to snap back to reality. He wouldn't be able to stand like that forever. "Shindo-san...wanted me to tell you something," Psy spoke up and Yuki turned around, waiting for her to continue. "He told me to tell you that...He'd wait, too," she stated, voice shaking as she finished. There had been nothing wrong with Shindo-san, other than the fact that he was close to Yuki. If the situation had been different, she was sure her and Shindo-san might have even been friends.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
CB was more than a little agitated when she woke up to her phone ringing. Did they have any idea what time it was? Not even she was insane enough to call that late at night. However, if someone was calling so late it had to be urgent, right?  
  
Mumbling something incoherent about 'destroy the damn thing' she picked up the phone, placing it to her ear and trying hard to wake up enough to form coherent words. She could hear something in the background, was that...crying?  
  
"Hello?" she asked, seriously worried. Something was wrong, she had a feeling.  
  
"CB?" CB jumped at her friend's voice, she was definitely talking through sobs.  
  
"Maiko, what's wrong?" she asked, seriously worried. It had been a long time since last she'd seen her friend cry. Something had to be seriously wrong.  
  
"Niichan...Yuki called earlier and I couldn't take it by myself..." CB sat up, fully awake now. Shuichi, something had happened to Shuichi. CB didn't understand what was going on but she let her friend cry some more before she sensed she had calmed down a little bit and asked what was wrong. "Niichan's...dead." Maiko was immediately sobbing again and CB couldn't stop her own tears from flowing the second the words reached her ears.  
  
Dead.  
  
Shuichi.  
  
The same Shuichi who was supposed to take her out to dinner next week. The one who begged her for hours for her tickets, making a complete fool of himself purposely, making her laugh and care. That Shuichi.  
  
He wasn't allowed to die.  
  
"I'm sorry for waking you up like this, but..."  
  
"It's okay," CB interrupted her friend as she started apologizing, she understood. Her parents had died when she was five and there was nothing she'd wanted more than to have someone listen to her sorrows. She hadn't had anyone to do that for her, but she could certainly do it for her friend.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was hours later when Maiko had finally worn herself out enough to break their conversation. CB hung the phone up numbly, wiping away at her own tears. Crying was something she had no difficulty with, and this news had been no different.  
  
Climbing back into bed she tried her hardest not think about it. That would be for tomorrow. She'd promise Maiko she'd come over, so it was best to let herself sleep that night and think about the problems of reality later. This was the reason she'd secluded herself off from reality.  
  
She slammed her fist against her pillow in frustration as her phone rang again, reaching over to pick it up.  
  
"Hello?" she inquired, still too awake for that hour of the morning.  
  
"Is this Crazy Beetch?" CB rolled her eyes, no one ever wanted to pronounce her last name right for fear of insulting her. Too bad the last name was an insult.  
  
"Bitch. Yes, I'm her," she corrected politely, wanting to know for what reason they called her that early in the morning.  
  
"We're calling you regarding a slight problem with your sister." CB blinked a couple times, sitting up.  
  
"Sarah? Or Jamie?" she asked, knowing both of them were probably still asleep at this hour. She also knew quite well that neither of them were trouble makers.  
  
"Psycho Bitch. Around twelve this morning Shindo Shuichi was murdered outside his apartment, your sister has admitted to the murder. We normally wouldn't relay this to someone as young as yourself, but seeing as you're her closest family member…" CB nodded dumbly, more tears finding their way to her eyes. Things just kept on going wrong in her life. A minute ago she hadn't even remembered having a sister, and now to find out that she was the one who'd killed her friend... "We're sorry to have to tell you this, it really is quite a situation. Please inform your aunt for us as well," the stated and CB nodded, hanging up the phone. Everything bad was happening to her.  
  
Standing up and wiping tears from her eyes, only to have them replaced seconds later, CB finally made up her mind. She'd confront everything she now felt she needed t confront.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yuki tried his hardest to keep himself under control. He'd been standing in the same hallway as the girl for far too long. His mind continuing to formulate new ways to kill her. He could almost feel the cool metal of the gun against his fingers, the sound as the bullet cut through the air, the wonderfully delicious sight of her blood being spilt. To be rid of her would…No! Yuki scolded himself, slowly loosing his mind. It had been a long time since the girl had last spoken, and Yuki had found out that after crying for a while, nothing would come out.  
  
He'd collapsed on the floor next to Shuichi, and had tried so many times to wake himself up, eventually giving into the fact that this was reality. Psy had simply watched him the entire time, making things even worse. After he'd finally stopped crying he'd gathered himself enough to hate the girl, the girl that continued to stare at him, aggravate him. He wouldn't be able to stand the girl's presence much longer.  
  
"You could at least acknowledge I exist," she stated coldly, breaking the silence and Yuki's control. His fingers found the gun subconsciously and he aimed it at her, tears finding their way to his eyes again. "Yuki…" she tried her hardest to back up further against the wall, staring at him fearfully. The hate and pain in his eyes scared her, he wasn't Yuki anymore.  
  
"Acknowledging you're here only means acknowledging the fact that I've let you live far too long for what you've done to Shuichi!" he screamed forcefully and Psy screamed, tears streaming down her face. She'd never been so scared of anyone in her life.  
  
"I'm sorry," she apologized in a whisper, finding it difficult to speak under Yuki's gaze.  
  
"Tell that to him then! Sorry isn't going to get you anywhere with me!" he screamed, fingers tightening on the trigger.  
  
"Yuki!!!" Yuki turned his attention from the girl in front of him to the girl who had just appeared. She shoved herself between Psy and Yuki and pushed his arms away, staring at Psy blankly. Psy stared back at her as well, confusion slowly covering her fear. "So…you're my big sister?" she asked and Psy nodded slowly. A soft noise behind them make them both look to Yuki, who had dropped the gun, having regained his senses once again. Psy turned to her sister, confused.  
  
"Crazy, what are you doing here?" Psy asked, sitting up slightly. She was more than surprised as she felt the hard slap against her cheek. She stared at challenging, hurt ice-blue eyes.  
  
"You never talk to me in my life and then you kill my friend! I never want to see you again! Sarah might want to but I don't!" she screamed, tears falling from her eyes. She turned and caught sight of Shuichi as the police grabbed Psy from the floor, picking her up harshly. "Took them long enough…" CB commented dryly as she stared at Shuichi. She hadn't wanted to believe it.  
  
She turned to face Yuki as a small sobbing noise caught her attention and dropped down next to him, crying harder as she realized she wouldn't be able to help him. Both ignored the rest of the scene around them as they cried.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ryuichi sat on the edge of his bed, kicking his feet happily as he tried to think of something to do. He didn't have to go to the studio, and both he and Kumagoro had already run out of things to do. He vaguely remembered getting a call earlier that morning, but decided against answering it, then its mystery would be gone.  
  
"I know!" he exclaimed happily, gripping Kumagoro's hand tightly and hopping off his bed. "Let's go see Shuichi! Maybe we can make him feel better!" he cheered, running over to the door and heading for Shuichi's house, humming to himself happily. His humming stopped as he caught sight of the people's faces. They all looked so sad, and they were all just standing there. He turned to see what was so interesting, staring at the TV screen without any interest. He didn't like news, it put him to sleep. He was about to head back on his way when something caught his attention  
  
"…the murderer, Psycho Bitch, had turned herself in only a short while after the murder had taken place. Yuki Eiri, romance novelist and Shindo-san's lover, has refused to talk to anyone since…" Ryuichi removed his finger from the power button as soon as the sound died out, staring at the people watching through the glass challengingly, tears already marking his cheeks.  
  
He walked out of the store slowly, ignoring the whining of the people behind him as he left. His eyes had lost their sparkle and innocence again, and he decided that perhaps going to Shuichi's wasn't the best of ideas.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yuki continued to stare at the wall above the TV blankly as one of Shuichi's concerts played on the TV, words barely reaching his sorrow filled mind. He'd sat there like that ever since the night before, sliding in and out of tormented dreams. Tears fell from his eyes in steady streams, whether he was awake or not.  
  
At first he ignored the knocking on his door, hoping they'd go away if he made them stand out there too long. However, after ten minutes of this game Yuki was pissed enough to answer the door, glaring at the person outside through the crack between the door and the lock. He was more than a little surprised at who was standing there, he'd been more expecting Tohma or his sister. Even more so was he surprised by the boy's silence and serious expression, dried tears staining his face.  
  
Ryuichi Sakuma.  
  
An older Shuichi…  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
CB woke up again with tears staining her face. She'd walked home after the ordeal, leaving Yuki crying behind her. She'd wanted to help him, but something inside told her that there was nothing she could do. So instead of helping she'd run. She hadn't even had to courage to call and tell Maiko that she wasn't going to go over and help her. Yuki needed help now…she needed help now, but there was no one there to offer it.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Go away," Yuki demanded angrily and Ryuichi simply stood there, staring at him determinedly. That pissed Yuki off even more, making him slam the door shut on the older singer, surprised when his door didn't close, glancing down at where Ryuichi'd slammed his foot between the crack. Dammit! "Go away now! I don't want to deal with you!" Ryuichi was almost immediately childish again, trying his hardest to keep the door between them open. If he wasn't getting inside he could at least talk to him through the crack.  
  
"But! I want to help Yuki!" he screamed as Yuki managed to push a majority of his foot out of the door space. Yuki couldn't help but freeze as Ryuichi screamed, the familiarity of the scene hitting him.  
  
"I'm not joking! What are you thinking you little brat?"  
  
"But. I want to be with Yuki!"  
  
However, unlike Shuichi Ryuichi simply fell back on his butt as Yuki let go of the door, whining a little in pain and picking up Kumagoro, brushing him off and asking if he was alright. Yuki watched as Ryuichi gathered himself again. Even like that he didn't seem to hold his energetic air as well as he had before.  
  
"Ryuichi and Kumagoro thought Yuki-san might need some help, too," he stated childishly and Yuki sighed, walking away from the doorway, leaving it open for Ryuichi to follow through. The dull click of the door was acknowledgement enough that Ryuichi had done so.  
  
"Yuki-san doesn't need help," he stated coldly, sitting down on the couch again and staring at the concert again. "What I need is an ending," he said to himself softly and the words were lost on Ryuichi, who was watching the concert on Yuki's TV with a bright shine in his eyes, not quite happy. Tears ran down both of their faces as they continued to watch it and Yuki had the sudden urge to hit something. He didn't want to deal with this.  
  
"Shuichi really shone on stage, huh?" Ryuichi asked suddenly, looking over his shoulder at Yuki. He looked like a total wreck, yet in a way it made him somewhat attractive. Ryuichi could almost see why Shuichi had liked him. That kind of surprised him, and he hated himself for it. His friend had just died and he was falling for his boyfriend? It wasn't right. Besides, Ryuichi had always liked dark-hair better. And the last thing stopping him from Yuki was his personality. He had heard stories about how mean he was and wasn't surprised when he'd been so rude earlier. He'd half- expected it.  
  
"He always shone," Yuki managed softly, wishing the tears would stop, give him a minute to reorganize himself. That didn't happen, however, and he let them flow freely. He didn't care if they made him week, he'd rather be week and care than to not care again.  
  
"So'd you," Ryuichi countered, smiling sadly at him. "You could have tied him up and threw him in a trashcan and he'd probably still continue on about how great you were. He tried to make us think you were perfect. I believed him most times," Ryuichi stated, smile forming slightly larger as he remembered all the times Shuichi had started rambling on about Yuki when they were playing around together. When he was happy it was one of the best things in the world, and Yuki always played some sort of a part in his happiness.  
  
"Never reached the status of a God, though," Yuki stated as he scooted a little box towards Ryuichi with his foot. "I could hardly get him to shut up about you," Yuki commented. He had to admit, for all the pain remembering Shuichi took, it also made him feel better. He couldn't figure out why.  
  
Ryuichi dropped down next to the box and smiled to himself as he went through the things inside, mostly concert videos of his and stuff he'd given him…ALL Nittle Grasper concerts and stuff from him. "He wasted his candy, Kumagoro," he commented childishly, looking over at Yuki as he said it, yet going unnoticed by the writer. Ryuichi smiled brightly as he noticed the small smile on Yuki's face, even through the tears. He'd doubted his ability to help Yuki almost as soon as he'd seen him, but now he was sure he could help at least a little bit. Shuichi was right. He does look cute when he smiles, he allowed himself, continuing to search through the box.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ryuichi sighed as he closed the door to his apartment behind him, flipping on the lights. He wiped the remains of tears from his narrow eyes and sniffed a couple times before finally clearing his head again. He'd spent a majority of the day helping Yuki out, and he'd only stop crying when he'd run out of tears. He was honestly surprised that Yuki never seemed to run out, always crying. Even when he laughed.  
  
I don't understand him… Ryuichi thought as he sat down on his couch, tilting his head back and closing his eyes to suppress the loneliness he'd gone through that day. You don't want to understand him, he answered himself and he had to agree. Yuki always seemed so unhappy, except for when he remembered being with Shuichi. Ryuichi was willing to bet Yuki had been happy when he was with Shuichi…and only when he was with Shuichi. Wonder if he's happy hanging around with you, he asked and Ryuichi shook his head. Liking someone and loving someone were two different things. Yet he looked at you like you were a God to him, too.  
  
He glanced over at his bedroom, finally noticing he'd left the light on since that morning. It wasn't like him to be that forgetful. He may have been childish but he wasn't all that stupid. He toyed with the idea of going to sleep, since he was heading there anyway, even though he was sure all he'd dream would be nightmares. He smiled as he opened the door slightly, setting Kumagoro on the desk next to his door.  
  
"Hi," he greeted, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms. He laughed as Tatsuha fell off his bed, trying to turn around to fast. "Been here long?" he asked as Tatsuha got up, blushing slightly and trying to regain his dignity. He shook his head and glanced at his watch.  
  
"Not at all. Only five hours," he commented and Ryuichi rolled his eyes, continuing to watch him from the doorway. "You know, you don't look very…youish…at the moment," Tatsuha commented offhandedly and Ryuichi blinked a couple times before looking down at himself.  
  
"Why not? I may be strange but I don't always feel like using my extra energy by bouncing around like a six-year-old on a sugar high," Tatsuha raised an eyebrow questioningly before walking over to Ryuichi and wrapping an arm around his waist, looking serious. "I already heard," Ryuichi stated before Tatsuha could mention it again and he simply nodded. "That the only reason you're here?" Ryuichi asked, a sly smile working its way onto his face.  
  
"You know me better than that," Tatsuha commented and Ryuichi nodded, leaning forward to kiss him as he turned Kumagoro around.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yuki walked around his house aimlessly after Ryuichi had left, afraid to touch anything. It seemed like everything in his house contained its own little memory of Shuichi, and for once in such a big house Yuki felt trapped. Not one corner of his house was safe from the memories, but there was one area he had been able to deal with already. The couch.  
  
Clutching Shuichi's pillow to him tightly Yuki closed his eyes, imagining holding Shuichi again. He missed it, all of it. He wasn't sure how long he'd be able to last without Shuichi. Probably as long as a person could go without food. His tears dropped to the fabric, staining areas dark blue. He blinked as something fell into his lap, solid and square.  
  
Picking it up he realized it was a book, a simple read journal to be precise. Flipping it open to the first page he pulled out the pictures he found tucked inside, flipping through them. Pictures of Shuichi and himself, some of just him. A few of just Shuichi, and a couple of his family. It was then that he realized the other pictures and the envelope by his feet, obviously spilled from the book.  
  
Drying his eyes he picked them up, opening the envelope carefully and pulling out what was inside. Mostly boring little articles. Articles he never bothered reading. Articles about his books and awards he'd won mostly. He admired the last article in the envelope with curiosity, little pink hearts drawn all over it. He watched as tears landed on the paper, smearing the perfect text. It was the article posted in the newspaper after he'd confessed his relationship with Shuichi. It meant a lot more to him than you'd thought, didn't it?  
  
He slid the articles back in their envelope and dropped the pictures on the table, keeping the ones of Shuichi next to him. He flipped through the book slowly, reading small bits and pieces. It was like a diary, daily accounts of Shuichi's life and emotions. Songs, poems, and pictures decorated it, giving it a happy feeling for most pages, yet Yuki immediately noticed the empty pages, reading the words carefully.  
  
***I know it's early for me to write but I can't help it, I feel so horrible. It's been a while since my run in with Aizawa and I'd almost forgotten about it (isn't that great?) but he tried to hurt Yuki…my Yuki! I was so worried about him. He's not as cold as he makes everyone think, I know now. And I know he cares, if at least a little.  
  
He cried today, it's the first time I've ever seen him look so hurt before. He cried because of me. I don't want to make Yuki sad, I don't want to hurt him anymore. A couple days ago I would have begged to see him cry, but now that I've seen it I know I don't. At least he's still as cute when he cries, but if he's cute anyways why bother to make him sad, right?***  
  
Yuki's tears made the ink on the paper smear, blurring the words thankfully. He didn't know why he'd had to read that particular entry. He closed the book and set down on top of the pictures, burying his face in his hands and full-out crying again. Maybe if he finally got some good sleep he'd snap out of it and wake up to find Shuichi with him again. Than again, maybe he'd just be more aware of the fact that Shuichi was gone.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ryuichi smiled as he opened his eyes slowly, glancing at Tatsuha's face. Shuichi was right, the Uesugi brothers certainly did have adorable sleeping faces. At least Tatsuha did. He was now POSITIVE he liked men over women, dark-hair over light, and Tatsuha over Yuki…Tatsuha over anybody.  
  
He stretched slightly and glanced at the clock. It was one in the morning and he was awake. He frowned at the thought. He closed his eyes again and wrapped his arms around Tatsuha, deciding he'd go back to sleep instead of running around his house aimlessly for hours. Besides, he'd found himself a way to get rid of the nightmares.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yuki cursed as he woke up to the sunlight shining on his face, his cheeks burning with tears he'd shed while he'd slept. He walked to the bathroom and ran his hands under the cold water, running them over his cheeks. They still burned, and he cursed himself for letting Shuichi become so much of him. He could only swear again as he heard a faint knocking on the door, drying his face off and walking to answer it, glaring at the people he saw on the other side. Just the people he didn't want to talk to.  
  
Mika and Tohma.  
  
"What do you want?" he demanded, his own foot already slid between the crack in case they wanted to try Ryuichi's trick from the day before. Shuichi's trick from a long time ago.  
  
"We wanted to see how you were doing, and obviously the answer is not very well," Mika stated and Yuki glared at her. "Tatsuha was supposed to check up on you yesterday, but…"  
  
"He got a little side-tracked," Tohma finished for her and Yuki couldn't help but hate them in that moment. A whole days worth of crying for him ended up as nothing more than sending someone to check on him. It was always about him, it had always been about him. That was the reason he had lost Shuichi in the first place.  
  
He slammed the door in their faces and locked it behind him, thankful that they hadn't reduced themselves to screaming at him through the doorway. He'd probably snap if he had to listen to them anymore. He walked away from the door, listening to the dead quiet they had both provided for him, the one thing he'd always asked for but the one thing he hated now more than anything. Silence didn't go very well with Shindo Shuichi. It never had.  
  
He glanced over at his laptop, resisting his sudden urge to throw it across the room and watch it smash into a thousand different pieces. He was somewhat surprised at how violent he had become suddenly and left his living room, knowing if he didn't get away soon he damn well would through the hell machine. The many times he'd chosen that damn laptop over Shuichi were enough to make him sick. Shuichi had never asked for anything more than his attention, writing him songs and buying him things, yet Yuki ignored it all. All the damn laptop had to do was show a little blinking cursor and Yuki couldn't tear himself away.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Do you think it was a good idea to leave? Eiri doesn't look too good," Mika inquired as they both stepped into her car, giving Tohma a worried glance. She was honestly concerned for her brother, he hadn't looked like he was really doing much to keep himself alive. He didn't look like he wanted to keep himself alive.  
  
"Eiri-san can take care of himself," Tohma commented quietly. "Besides, I'm pretty sure he already has someone helping him through this," he finished and Mika decided to let Tohma go through with whatever it was he had planned. She could only hope that this incident wouldn't be enough for them to loose Yuki. Yuki may have found it hard to believe but they had both been upset over Shuichi's death as well. At least she had been, Mika had spent enough time with the boy to know that he didn't deserve to die. She didn't want the same thing to happen to her brother.  
  
"I hope you're right," she commented as she started the car.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yuki was eternally thankful as he stepped out of his room, wearing a simple outfit and thinking of something he could do to keep his mind of Shuichi. His face had stopped burning after his shower, the cool water helping his burning skin. He had found out before that that he'd cried all his tears the day before, leaving him feeling empty and alone. Even more so than before.  
  
His mind drifted back to his laptop as he walked into his living room, an idea for a book formulating in his mind. He would have started right away if it wasn't for the soft knocking at his doorway. He ran his fingers through his hair and started his laptop before heading to the door, opening it fully and glaring at the two girls who stood outside. If they were fans trying to gain comfort it wasn't happening. He recognized the one with the teal hair, and he was sure he'd seen the brunette somewhere before, he just didn't know where.  
  
"What are you doing here?" he demanded of CB and she glared at him levelly. She wasn't going to back down just because Yuki was being a jerk. Yuki was always being a jerk.  
  
"Trying to help my friend, is that too much?" she snapped back and Yuki sighed, he normally wouldn't have let any of these people into his house, but he wasn't thinking as clearly as he normally did. He once again found himself stepping out of the doorway so they could walk inside. He closed the door behind him and the brunette was almost sobbing immediately.  
  
Yuki tried his hardest to ignore the two girls, walking over to his laptop and opening up a blank screen. He couldn't seem to write with them there, however, and instead he simply sat back and watched them.  
  
"Would anybody mind giving introductions?" Yuki asked and CB looked up at him, clearly confused. "Well? It is my house and I do deserve to know her name," he stated and CB looked over at her friend, who was currently glancing at the pictures Yuki had found in Shuichi's journal.  
  
The girl held up a picture she'd found and showed it to Yuki. "I'm Maiko," she introduced and Yuki remembered her. Shuichi's little sister. She'd been over once before, when Yuki was out for the most part. He'd only got rare glimpses of her, and he hadn't really cared. "I was going to come up in another week," she stated more to herself than Yuki, pictures sliding out from between her fingers. "I hadn't gotten to see you in so long," Yuki sighed and watched the girl next to him cry, feeling completely unable to do anything about it. That figured. He was always incapable when it came to helping others.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Tatsuha was the first of the two to wake up later that day, a little surprised by the fact. Normally Ryuichi was up before he was. He blinked a couple times as he caught sight of the tears on Ryuichi's face, wiping them from his face gently. Ryuichi smiled slightly and his eyes fluttered open, wide and innocent.  
  
"Hiya Tatsuha!" he cheered happily and Tatsuha smiled at him.  
  
"Hiya!" he greeted just as enthusiastically and Ryuichi laughed, hugging him tightly. When Tatsuha was around he always seemed to find himself a replacement for Kumagoro.  
  
"So, what do you want to do today?" Ryuichi asked happily, something in the back of his mind screaming at him for being so happy. It just didn't seem right. Tatsuha shrugged and kissed him softly, making Ryuichi giggle slightly. He didn't know why, it just did.  
  
They both frowned as the phone rang and Ryuichi leaned over Tatsuha to answer it.  
  
"Hello?" he greeted happily, listening intently to the person on the other end, his face loosing his childlike innocence in a second. He nodded a couple times and made slight sounds of acknowledgement. "Of course I'll help," he stated, smiling brightly. "Yeah, you want me to take him with me?" Ryuichi asked before nodding once more. "Okay!…No problem! I want to help!" he stated enthusiastically before hanging up the phone, turning saddened eyes to Tatsuha.  
  
"You want to help me?" he asked, wiping at the tears that were hanging in the corner of his eyes annoyingly. He remembered now why he thought it was bad to be so happy…Shuichi. Not to mention poor Yuki.  
  
"With what?" Tatsuha asked as he sat up, a little worried by Ryuichi's sudden change.  
  
"Yuki wants me to help him with a new book idea he got." Tatsuha glared at nothing in particular. His brother was always working on his books. Didn't he care that Shuichi was gone at all?  
  
Ryuichi noticed the look on Tatsuha's face and smiled, resting his hands on his shoulders. "He's writing a tribute to Shuichi, and he wanted me to help him. I've been helping him deal with it. That's why I was out yesterday," Ryuichi explained and Tatsuha's face softened considerably.  
  
"Alright, but don't be surprised if he kicks me out. I have a way of getting on his nerves," he explained and Ryuichi laughed, standing up quickly and offering Tatsuha a hand.  
  
"Me and Kumagoro won't let him kick you out!" he cheered defiantly as Tatsuha stood up with his help and he ran off to get ready.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yuki sighed as he hung up the phone, running fingers through his hair. Maiko and CB had only just left when he'd grabbed the number Ryuichi had given him the day before and called him. He was kind of surprised at the speed in which he dialed the number, the way he'd frantically searched for it. He pushed any unwanted thoughts out of the way, he was only in such a rush because he wanted to write this novel more than anything, but he couldn't deal with it by himself. Besides, every good author needed more than one view on a subject. Tatsuha and Ryuichi might not only help him deal, but he knew both of them had memories of Shuichi that he didn't…at least not yet.  
  
That was it, right?  
  
Yuki picked up the journal next to him and flipped through it quickly again. He'd been fighting himself for hours over whether he should read it or not. It was Shuichi's personal item, but he wanted to know so much more about the boy. His thoughts, his life, everything. He was also hoping Ryuichi would be able to make that decision for him. He typed a few words on his computer, writing down whatever came to his mind. Mostly a long string of 'Shuichi' and 'can't wait.' He honestly couldn't figure out what his mind was telling him with his last couple of sentences, and he deleted the whole thing almost as soon as he'd written it, only giving himself time to read over it.  
  
He didn't bother to get up and answer the door, knowing that Tatsuha had a key. He really didn't feel like dealing with any more unwanted visitors that day, he'd had his fair share. He sighed again and ran fingers through his hair, staring up at the ceiling as if he found it particularly interesting.  
  
He didn't, of course.  
  
Yuki glanced over as he heard the door open and close, wishing desperately for something to rid him of his headache. He'd dealt with it so long he couldn't even begin to imagine when it had started, and not even painkillers were making it go away.  
  
"Yuki-san," Ryuichi stated quietly, walking over to poke him childishly. Yuki sat up fully as Ryuichi poked him and smiled at him appreciatively. He couldn't begin to explain why he'd opened up to Ryuichi, or why he had called the boy. Personally he was afraid of the answer he'd come up with. Ryuichi smiled back at him happily, sitting down on the couch next to him and staring at the blank computer screen, unaware of his thoughts. Tatsuha sat down next to Ryuichi, careful to keep his mouth shut. He always managed to say something to irritate Yuki so he had decided on the way there that he wouldn't talk unless Yuki or Ryuichi told him to. "What's this?" Ryuichi asked as he picked up the book he'd accidentally sat on, flipping open the cover and pulling out the pictures inside. He flipped through them quickly before setting them next to Yuki's laptop tenderly.  
  
"Shuichi's journal," Yuki answered and Ryuichi's eyes lit up. Yuki was highly surprised at just how much he and Shuichi had in common, he hadn't noticed it so well the day before. He hardly remembered anything he'd done the day before.  
  
"Really?" he asked, flipping open the first page and wincing as he caught sight of the pretty little Japanese text on the page. Reading printed Japanese was hard enough for him, let alone someone else's handwriting. "Did you read it?" Ryuichi asked, looking serious again.  
  
"No. I didn't think it was right," Yuki answered and Ryuichi nodded, shoving the book into Yuki's hands. Yuki was also surprised at the somewhat pleasant tingle when Ryuichi's fingers brushed against his lightly. He had to wonder what kind of power Ryuichi had to break through him as easily as he had Don't be stupid, he's like a living Shuichi. Only difference is a couple years. Yuki shook his head to clear it, he didn't want to think about Ryuichi like that. Then why else do you already like him? Yuki once again tried to shut out the voices in his head. He didn't like Ryuichi, he refused to like Ryuichi. Doing that would hurt more than one person, himself included.  
  
But Ryuichi was smiling up at him, and for some reason everything seemed alright. He's like an angel, trying to help you after loosing yours. He sure looks like one, doesn't he? Yes, Ryuichi did look like an angel, but Yuki wouldn't admit it to himself. Ryuichi was only trying to help because he thought it would make Shuichi happy. He wondered if Shuichi was going through what he was. Ryuichi's your guardian angel now. Now that Shuichi and Kitazawa are gone. Yuki decided to ignore that thought in favor of what Ryuichi was about to say.  
  
"It isn't right but I know Shuichi would have wanted you to read it anyway! Shuichi wanted to share everything with you," he explained, eyes shining and tears hanging in the corner of his eyes. Yuki nodded once, wishing the tears would come again and wipe away his guilt, but as had become normal they wouldn't come. He flipped to the first page himself and began reading, Ryuichi and Tatsuha watching, ready to back him up if he needed it.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~Six months later~  
  
"...and the newest book by Yuki Eiri, 'Loosing Love,' is by far one of the most touching we've had the pleasure of coming across. Selling more than any of his other books had be…" Ryuichi flipped off the TV with a fierce determination before leaning back again, staring at the blank screen like it was something interesting. Tatsuha couldn't help but blink as he watched tears fall from Ryuichi's face steadily and he reached out to comfort him.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked as Ryuichi turned to look at him, tears streaming down his face non-stop, looking both upset and angry. Yuki had disappeared again a couple weeks before and no one had been the same since. Sure, he'd vanished a hundred times before, but they all had the nagging feeling that Yuki wasn't going to come back this time. After a week they had all stopped talking about it. Tohma was out looking for him even as they spoke.  
  
"Why is it that every time I've almost forgotten about something they bring it back up?" he asked. He had almost managed to get his life back on track when Yuki's book had come out and the news was all over it. He wasn't surprised Yuki had left, with all the attention they'd direct him over Shuichi. It definitely wasn't worth it.  
  
"Because that's when everyone else will forget and by making them remember they make news." Ryuichi clung to Tatsuha like a child, Kumagoro pressed between them. "People are real assholes," he stated and Ryuichi nodded, closing his eyes and letting the tears slide down his cheeks unopposed.  
  
"I hope Yuki's alright. He was so nice to me," Ryuichi stated and Tatsuha nodded, holding him tighter. Ryuichi had spent every waking hour since Shuichi's death at Yuki's place, making Tatsuha just a tad bit jealous of his brother. He'd even slept over at his big brother's house on occasion and had once come home with a disturbing story.  
  
Yuki Eiri had kissed him.  
  
And Ryuichi hadn't minded.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Eiri-san, please think this through," Tohma pleaded the younger blonde, almost desperate. He was too afraid to go any closer to him, he wasn't Eiri-san anymore. His eyes were hollow and lifeless. It scared him, to see Yuki that way.  
  
"I have," he stated emotionlessly, fingers tracing over the light edge of the book in his lap. The small red book he'd used to help him write his story. His best selling story.  
  
His last story.  
  
"Eiri-san, please. Think of what you'll be doing to all of us. How do you think we'll take loosing both you and Shindo-san. Think about it Eiri- san," Tohma tried to reason, inching forward as much as he dared. Yuki's sudden movement made him stop though, his eyes firmly locked on him, yet not really locked on anything.  
  
"I promised him I'd wait, but I didn't think it would hurt so much. And I know I didn't keep my promise, I started to love someone again, I know I can never love them as much as Shuichi, but falling in love again didn't seem right...Besides, they had someone else. Shuichi's all I ever had and all I ever want," Yuki tried to explain, tears pouring from his soulless eyes. "I can't wait any longer, Tohma. I'm sorry," He had run back to the apartment where he'd killed Kitazawa-sensei, the apartment where he had tried to take his life before. The apartment he would take his life in now.  
  
"Eiri-san!" Tohma screamed, running to his side as a single gunshot rang through the air. Holding the younger man tightly he cried, the way Yuki had before. They were only the first tears of many tears that would be shed for the loss of the novelist, only a vague few of those being from among his shortly-lived friends.  
  
I guess now it's my turn to find you…  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
FINISH CHAPTER TWO!!!  
  
Oh am I glad I got that out of the way! There will be ONE MORE chapter after this, I think. I can only hope that I get around to writing it (with the way I wrote this one I'm pretty sure I will). PLEASE tell me what you thought, I need the reviews! They're probably the only reason I finished this part in the first place. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!  
  
NOTE:  
  
I went through and rewrote this because this is the way I wanted it in the first place. I only posted it how it was before because I wanted it out of my hair, but I grew too attached to it to leave it unfinished like that. I'll probably do some updates on chapter 3 after this. I'd been toying with the idea of Ryuichi and Yuki getting together and that's why I made Yuki die, because I didn't want him to go through the pain of falling in love yet again (plus, I really like the TatsuhaxRyuichi pairing). 


	3. Never Let You Leave

Disclaimers: Gravitation and the characters don't belong to me. I wish they did but I'm sure you're all quite glad they don't.  
  
Notes: Here it is, the final ending to Bloodred Valentine. I really wasn't expecting to do this at first, but oh well. I hope this doesn't ruin the whole story…  
  
(Characters OOC, as is to be expected, and…well…yeah)  
  
~*Bloodred Valentine*~  
  
Shuichi opened his eyes slowly at the sound of the phone ringing, hearing slight noises from the other room. He should have known Yuki wouldn't last long. He checked the clock next to him and winced as he read the time. 11:53. Whoever was on the phone was sure calling late.  
  
He sat up quickly, rubbing at where his arm had started to hurt again. It wasn't as bad as it had been at first, but it still hurt. Picking up the phone on the next ring he answered groggily.  
  
"Shuichi?" they asked and he yawned, nodding and giving a slightly muffled 'uh-hu.' "Great news!" Shuichi could recognize Hiro's voice and perked up slightly, at least it wasn't work.  
  
"What is it?" he asked, trying not to yawn again. He wanted to go back to sleep. He wanted to go back to sleep really badly.  
  
"They caught the girl from the concert!" he exclaimed over the phone and Shuichi perked up as well.  
  
"Really?!" he asked excitedly, catching himself afterwards and clamping a hand over his mouth. Yuki probably didn't want to be disturbed, wherever he was. "So you mean I don't have to worry anymore?" he asked happily.  
  
"I wouldn't know about that. K and Sakano want you in here tomorrow morning to record that song. Seems like it's already a big hit!" Hiro exclaimed and Shuichi could barely suppress his excitement.  
  
"I'll be there!"  
  
"Late…" Hiro corrected him and he stuck his tongue out at his best friend.  
  
"Who cares if I'm late, at least I'll be there," he countered, sliding over to the edge of his bed, fingers tracing along his necklace happily. "I have something to show you tomorrow, okay? I gotta go." Hiro nodded and said his goodbye before Shuichi hung up the phone, sliding out of Yuki's bed and heading for the living room, knowing Yuki was probably typing away on his story again. He really needed to relax sometimes.  
  
"Great news, they found her! Sooooooo…whatcha working on?!" he asked happily as he glomped onto his lover's back, staring at the screen intently. The pages were already printing out and Shuichi couldn't help but watch as the computer showed progress.  
  
"A story that just came to me," Yuki answered and Shuichi smiled brightly as Yuki kissed his hand softly.  
  
"'Bloodred Valentine.' Sounds interesting," he stated with no particular interest, more interested in Yuki himself than his books. He blinked as he felt something wet against his palm and leaned over to where he could see his face, nearly falling over when he caught sight of Yuki crying. "What's wrong?" he asked, sitting down on his lap and wiping the tears off his face.  
  
"Nothing. Just thinking a little too hard," he commented and Shuichi shrugged, leaning against Yuki as he continued to stare at the screen, trying his hardest to read the words from behind the printer display but he eventually gave up.  
  
"So, what's it about?" he asked, kind of interested in what would have such a serious affect on Yuki. It took a lot to make him cry, at least as far as Shuichi knew.  
  
"Read it when it comes out. I'm sure you'll be surprised," he commented and Shuichi pouted.  
  
"That's not fair! I want to be the first person to read it!" he whined and Yuki clamped a hand over his mouth.  
  
"Just buy yourself a copy if you're so curious. I'm not letting you read it," he commented, pulling his hand away. Shuichi pouted before snapping his fingers, thinking of a wonderful idea.  
  
"I'll just read it while you're asleep!" he cheered and Yuki laughed, running fingers through his lover's hair.  
  
"Thanks for the warning. I guess that means I won't sleep tonight." Shuichi was about to argue before he thought about that and started whining again. Yuki laughed as Shuichi continued to try and think of more ways to read his story before anyone else, finding easy ways to avoid all of them.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Hiro Hiro Hiro!" The young singer chimed as he ran into the studio, a good ten minutes late. It wasn't like they weren't used to it already. Hiro turned to face him , smiling happily as Shuichi sat down in front of him, smiling happily. "Isn't it pretty?" he asked, still cheerful as ever and Hiro' eyes immediately flew to the charm hanging from the singer's neck.  
  
"Very," he commented, amazed. He hadn't the slightest clue how much money that must have cost but he was sure it was more than he could afford…ever. "Where'd you get it?" he asked, taking it in his palm and examining it.  
  
"Yuki gave it to me!" he cheered happily and even Suguru looked over at the two of them from the magazine he had been taking to practice for a while now. There was no use in him being bored while they were waiting for Shuichi and it wasn't like they could do anything without him. "So! Are we ready to record?!" he asked just as happily, turning to face Suguru, who got his first glimpse of the necklace Shuichi was wearing.  
  
"We've been ready to record," he continued in his normal work attitude, setting his magazine on the chair beside him. Shuichi pouted adorably and grabbed the mike before smiling happily and sticking his tongue out at Suguru.  
  
"You're just jealous because I have better things to do than record all day," he stated and Suguru was about to ask what that was but luckily his mind caught up with his mouth and he kept it shut.  
  
Within three tries they already had the song ready to go. Shuichi was about ready to leave before K or Sakano could give him something else to do when a familiar green-haired boy peered at him from around the doorway.  
  
"You done?" he asked cutely and Shuichi nodded, laughing as he stared up into familiar blue eyes as he found himself lying on the ground with the energetic boy sitting on top of him, smiling brightly. "Guess what we just saw?!" he asked excitedly, motioning his head to point out that Tatsuha was with him as well.  
  
"What?" Shuichi asked, quite interested, but Ryuichi's interest had already changed from the topic they were discussing.  
  
"Pretty!" he cheered, running his fingers over the edge of Shuichi's necklace, feeling the bumps of the rocks against his finger. Shuichi simply smiled proudly as Ryuichi continued to gawk at it. "Where'd you get it?" he asked, picking it up and continuing to examine it, only looking up for a second to inquire him before going back to the necklace.  
  
"Yuki!" he cheered, smiling happily and Ryuichi's mind flew back to their earlier discussion topic. He smiled and turned to Tatsuha, jumping off Shuichi and pulling on his arms like a child asking for candy. Tatsuha smiled and handed him the bag.  
  
"Looky Shuichi! It's only been a day, hasn't it?" he asked, pulling a book out of the bag. Shuichi stared at it a while, reading the cover. 'Bloodred Valentine,' that was it. He was immediately holding the book in his hands, flipping to the inside cover and stopping when he caught sight of the dedication.  
  
'To my life, my love, my everything. Shindo Shuichi, my little piece of Bad Luck.' He couldn't bring his hands to flip the page, only continued to read and re-read the little dedication. He hadn't been expecting that. Ryuichi smiled happily as he leaned against Tatsuha, Kumagoro occupying a seat on his head as they all watched the singer stare at the book in wonder.  
  
"What's so interesting?" Hiro asked, walking over to Shuichi and reading the dedication over his shoulder before smiling and backing away. Tatsuha pulled Kumagoro off Ryuichi's head and held him in his hands as he wrapped his arms around Ryuichi.  
  
"They were in a mad rush to get that published as soon as possible. It doesn't come out until tomorrow," Tatsuha offered and Shuichi tore his eyes from the page a moment to take in the two people in front of him. They'd done him the biggest favor they ever could have. He smiled at them brightly, turning the page before he could stop himself again.  
  
"Thanks," he managed and they both nodded, Ryuichi making Kumagoro nod as well. Shuichi went back to the book and started reading, deciding that he wouldn't go home until he was done with the book. It wasn't as long as most of Yuki's stories, so he figured he'd be able to finish it by the end of the day.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Yuki!" Shuichi screamed as he ran into Yuki's apartment, glomping the writer immediately. "I love you SOOOOOO much! So so so so so so so so so so so SO much!!!" he screamed, still tightly attached to his lover. "Would you really do that if I died?!" he asked, looking up at him with tears hanging in the corner of his eyes. Yuki couldn't help but smile, wrapping his arms around his lover gently.  
  
"Of course I would." His worries about whoever had shot Shuichi returning had kept him from sleeping that night, and instead of doing so he had written the story. It was supposed to come out the next day, but Yuki wasn't surprised that Tatsuha had used his position of little brother and bribed himself an early copy. He was actually glad Tatsuha had done so, because that had given Shuichi a day more than anyone else, and Yuki had wanted Shuichi to be the first person the read it. He just hadn't wanted him to read it when he was around. He hated being praised to his face.  
  
Shuichi didn't say anything simply cried happily, clinging to Yuki like mad. It was like something from a dream. To know that Yuki really cared for him had been worth so much to him, to read his book and see that Yuki's reaction had meant even more.  
  
"Let's hope we never find out," Shuichi commented and Yuki nodded his agreement, kissing the top of Shuichi's head softly.  
  
"Never. I'll never let you leave me," he commented and Shuichi looked up at him, eyes shining. "I love you, Shuichi."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ryuichi skipped home happily, clinging the copy of the book he had bribed for himself. He normally didn't read, not because he wasn't able to, but because he thought it was kind of boring. However, he figured it was worth a shot to read on of Yuki's books, if only because he figured he should get to know the person Shuichi was in love with. Shuichi knew Tatsuha after all. He couldn't help but think about what Yuki had to be like.  
  
He'd been quite happy at his character in the book, Yuki definitely wasn't stupid. He'd seen rare glimpses of the writer before but had never really talked to him, but somehow Yuki had managed to get his personality right, even down to what he thought. He wasn't stupid, and he wasn't a child, and Yuki and Tatsuha were the only two people he'd met so far that didn't think that, Tatsuha knowing from experience. He'd thought it had been pretty much impossible for people to understand him until he'd read Yuki's book. Either Yuki was very observant or very smart. He was willing to bet on both.  
  
Ryuichi nearly screamed as he fell back against the sidewalk, staring up at Tatsuha innocently as he glared down at him, holding onto the back of his shirt.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked and Tatsuha pointed to a car that was driving off into the distance. He was slightly out of breath and Ryuichi pouted up at him immediately, pulling Kumagoro closer to himself. He could already figure out what had happened. "Sorry," he muttered and Tatsuha nodded, smiling to himself as he let go of Ryuichi's shirt, letting the older boy stand up.  
  
"What were you thinking about so intently that you couldn't see that car anyway?" Tatsuha asked as they crossed the street, Ryuichi walking next to him in case he spaced out again.  
  
"Just wondering what you're brother's like. I've never met him," Ryuichi stated simply and Tatsuha shrugged, no one really knew what Yuki was like, except maybe Shuichi, but that was all. He'd changed so much since New York that he was beginning to wonder what he was really like, most of his memories were stained by the new Yuki and given a new light. What was once sweet looked cold.  
  
"Sometimes I think I haven't either," Tatsuha admitted and Ryuichi wrapped an arm around his waist as they walked, leaning his head against his shoulder.  
  
"Maybe one day we will," he stated and Tatsuha nodded, enjoying the time spent with Ryuichi. He flinched as he remembered that he was supposed to leave that day to go back home, he had only come down there to see Shuichi's concert.  
  
"What time is it?" Tatsuha asked, hoping he still had a while more with Ryuichi.  
  
"Time to call your parents and tell them Kumagoro's held you hostage!" Ryuichi cheered, glancing at his watch even as he did so. "7:15, why?" he asked, already knowing why Tatsuha had asked. He'd never bothered to buy himself a watch and was always relying on Ryuichi to remind him of when his train left.  
  
"Train leaves at 7:10," he stated and Ryuichi shook his head.  
  
"It leaves at 7:20," he corrected and Tatsuha shrugged. "You have to go home," he added, eyeing Kumagoro even as he spoke to him. "When you going to come back and see us?" he asked cutely and Tatsuha shrugged.  
  
"7:21," he replied, smiling at him sweetly. "I really don't feel like going home. Tell my dad I lost track of time and by the time I remembered I was supposed to be home it was too late," he reasoned and Ryuichi looked confused for a second.  
  
"Kumagoro wants to know why you think he'll believe that," he stated, holding Kumagoro up to him to prove his point.  
  
"Because once the words 'I was too busy doing something else,' escape my mouth he'll hang up. He really doesn't care for details," he stated and Ryuichi laughed, Tatsuha was always getting in trouble with his family for spending too much time with him. They'd already decided Tatsuha would move in with him as soon as he could. Now all they had to do was wait.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"You know, this kind of puts all the adventure out of our relationship," Shuichi pointed out dully as he watched TV from where he was lying, head on Yuki's lap. Yuki sighed and continued to run his fingers through Shuichi's hair. Every day it was something different.  
  
"Never thought you wanted adventure," Yuki stated and Shuichi shrugged.  
  
"Didn't, don't. Just thought it seemed kinda different after it. It's kinda like a book. We had to study how to write stories back a long time ago in school. Introduction: Park, your house. Rising action: Elevator, you screamed at me and we separated for a while, we got back together, you kicked me out for being annoying, we got back together, I moved in, you kicked me out because of your fiancée, we got back together, you kicked me out for many reasons. Lesse, I cried to easily, I was loud, I sucked in bed, and you didn't like me. I think that was all of it. Anyway, then…"  
  
"I get the point," Yuki stated, only now realizing the great many times he'd kicked Shuichi out and the exact way Shuichi kept track of it all. He would have continued to think that Shuichi was an idiot if it wasn't for the way he seemed to remember every detail about him and their life. It was kind of touching, yet also kind of freaky. He was quite obsessive.  
  
"Sorry," he apologized, yet still sounding as cheerful as ever. "So, no more adventure?" he asked, kissing Yuki's fingers as the brushed his lips softly. "Not that I minded it, but…it'd be kinda nice to have a normal relationship, don't you think?"  
  
"So should I dump you and go get a girlfriend then?" Yuki asked playfully and Shuichi pouted, pinching his knee since he didn't really feel like moving. Yuki laughed, tangling his fingers in Shuichi's hair again.  
  
"Of course not. I was thinking more along the lines that you could get a sex change," Shuichi stated and this time it was Yuki's turn to smack him lightly, smiling to himself happily. It had been a while since he'd really teased so easily, he was normally hurtful about it.  
  
"If anyone's getting a sex change it's you." Shuichi pouted a little at that. Was Yuki calling him a girl? "I've got more fans that would kill you for ruining Yuki Eiri," he finished and Shuichi laughed, closing his eyes and yawning, suddenly remembering how early he'd woken up.  
  
"Night Yuki," he stated sleepily before really falling asleep. Yuki smiled and continued to run fingers through his hair.  
  
"Night," he echoed, watching Shuichi sleep before he fell asleep as well, knowing the nightmares he had dealt with the night before wouldn't be coming back. Shuichi was there and she was dealt with as well. He remembered her, and had recognized her from the description Shuichi had given him and the girl he'd seen in the shop. Ever since that morning he had called every last girl he'd ever dated or slept with and had apologized to them for hours, until each one had told him they either forgiven him, had never hated him, or didn't give a shit about him and his lame apologies. He'd made sure to throw away the numbers of the girls who didn't give a shit about his sorry apologies, they weren't worthy of the space. But now that that was taken care of he could be guaranteed of at least one thing.  
  
No more nightmares would some between him ad Shuichi ever again  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Oh and she finishes her first ever sappy ending!!! I know this chapter is INCREDIBLY short compared to my other chapters but oh well, I just wanted to explain it all. If you didn't understand it (which I'm sure many of you didn't) the fanfic was Yuki's story 'Bloodred Valentine,' which he was writing after the first time Shuichi got shot. (I got this idea from my little brother and I couldn't let it go to waste). It also kind of explains the other characters usage. I dunno, I hope you liked it! PLEASE review and tell me what you think. This is the longest fanfic I've ever written (and I finished it, too!)  
  
I thank all of you who actually got this far.  
  
Luv,  
  
Psycho gurl  
  
P.S.—I liked my first ending better, actually, but I figured I should do something with Tatsuha and Ryuichi and explain the book a little better than I had before. Besides, I really wanted to extend this chapter a little bit. Bye bye!!! 


End file.
